As the con season is starting, I am very thankful that I am feeling better. I missed my test today, however, because my tummy decided it wasn’t going to keep down food this morning. I hadn’t been sick for about a week so a little throw up didn’t bother me too much. I have had a small headache for about two days now and it’s driving me crazy. I’m quite hungry so I’m eating a lot and trying to drink water, but the exhaustion is hitting me hard this week. It’s difficult to stay awake all day when you feel like you’re about to enter into a coma. If I sleep during the day then I can’t sleep at night, but if I don’t sleep when I’m really tired I get nauseated. It’s truly a no-win situation.
As you can see, my belly seems to have stopped growing for right now. I feel like I look smaller than I did two weeks ago. I anticipate, though, that over the next few weeks I am going to grow A LOT. Baby E is going to double her weight this month and continue to grow larger at a steadier pace. Many people have already commented that I don’t look very pregnant at all yet. I attribute this to my height and posterior uterus. Yes, posterior uterus. My uterus tilts upward instead of towards the front, so this girlie is definitely going to max out her height space before ballooning out.
On a related note, my midwife, Nancy, said many encouraging things to me at our appointment today. Despite the fact that 30% of her first time moms transfer to the hospital for various reasons, and despite the fact that I had horrible hyperemesis, I have many physical traits that will contribute to an easier labor. She said that since I’m taller the baby won’t have as much trouble sliding out as with shorter women, and that my posterior uterus makes an easier angle for the baby to come out. I also have a posterior placenta, meaning that it’s connected to the backside of my uterus. Babies do not like to lay on their placentas during the birthing process so there’s a much smaller chance that I will experience back-labor! All of these things will hopefully make for an easier first-time birth and I am happy to hear it. The sweetest thing that Nancy said, on top of the physical aspects, was that if I could get through all the hyperemesis and stomach problems for many months, labor wouldn’t be hardly as difficult. That just made me feel so much better in general!
One of my clients recently gave birth so I have been thinking about labor a lot over the past week. I have many hopes for my birth, but I think people are worried that I’m so hardcore about it that I will feel like a failure if I can’t accomplish this drug-free home birth. My hopes are high enough to maintain positive feelings about my birth and to keep unrealistic fears at a minimum. How I birth my baby does not define me. If I don’t get my home birth, I will not become depressed nor feel like a bad mother or incompetent woman. But, as realistic as I’m trying to be, I am going to do my best to cope with labor at home in the best way I can. I am not going to just give up if I feel pain. Hopefully pain will equal progress during my labor and that will keep me going!
Well Baby E has been kicking me more than ever. She likes to kick my bladder and any other spot where there’s pressure on her little space. She kicks me when I’m still and trying to sleep, and when I’m seriously needing to use the bathroom. I suppose it’s cute, but I’m thinking that as she grows and becomes stronger I might have a few bruised ribs. As long as she comes out after 9 months I can deal with it :) At the midwife appointment today she was kicking and squirming away from the doppler once again. Nancy was able to get her pretty quickly, but she was definitely trying to scoot away from it. She does the same thing to my hands when I rub my belly.
Over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to re-organize and take care of many neglected things since becoming sick and pregnant. I need to make a real list of things we’ll need for baby right after she’s born and leave the rest to her individual needs. I also need to start planning the baby shower with my mom and get my medical bills in order. I suppose the shower stuff can wait, but the medical stuff needs to be taken care of asap. It took me forever to get covered for insurance and there’s a lot of paperwork to be done and phone calls to make. I can’t keep it all straight sometimes.
~Christine
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