Lately

I win the award for the worst blogger ever. I have the best intentions but these past couple months have been one big ball of stress and I have simply lacked the motivation to write about Evelyn's milestones and our happenings. I have tons of cute pictures, but it is a huge chore to upload them, partially due to the fact that Google blogger makes me do them one-by-one and then I feel guilty that I don't make the time to do it. There are so many wonderful people in our lives who don't get to see us or Evelyn hardly often enough, and I feel so sorry for not posting regularly.

So a quick update:

Evelyn is great. She is such a happy baby. She is saying mama, dada, and num-num-num. Over the past two weeks she has been going poop on her little frog potty. She cues me by grunting and sitting very still, then I take her diaper off and put her on the potty. It's so very cute and it makes me feel good that I can communicate with her in this way. We've caught 8 poops so far. Only one pee, but I know that having poop in her diaper really bothers her now. She waits for me to put her on the potty and this whole thing really fascinates me! My 9-month old goes poop on her potty.

Evelyn hasn't shown much interest in crawling or walking yet. She scoots backwards and can turn around many times. She's an acrobat during sleep; half the time I awake to find her head down by my back and her feet in my face. I love those moments.

One of Evie's favorite things to do is take a bath. No matter how tired or upset she is, taking a bath makes her feel instantly better. She calms right down and starts babbling away. She loves to lay on my chest with her back to me so that she can sway and kick her feet under water. She'll turn around every once in a while to nurse for about 5 seconds then goes back to playing.

She loves to rip apart paper and napkins or anything that will tear. She'll store a few pieces in her cheeks then spit them out after a few minutes. She has been eating baby food pretty regularly; she loves sweet potato, carrots, pears, peaches, plums, and the awesome medleys that Earth's Best makes. The past week she's been only eating a few bites of food and then completely refuses it. Those are the days she nurses a lot instead. I never worry about what she's eating because I know that until she's at least year old, she can drink breastmilk and it will provide her with all the necessary calories and nutrients she needs. Maybe after her first birthday I will become more scheduled in when and how much she gets fed solids. 

Evie sits and stands up very well now. She loves to sit and wiggle her feet in opposite directions. She likes to kick her feet when she's laying on her back and she knows how to hold herself up when she's standing. Sometimes she rears back while sitting and hits her head on the floor. We always have a wail for a few seconds then she's fine and back to doing whatever she was doing. 

Some days Evelyn only wants mama, other days she says Dada all day long. She'll even cry when Grandma leaves the room at times when Mama is being boring. I love that she is comfortable with other people besides me, but that I can always come back to her and cuddle or nurse her if I've been gone for some reason. I actually don't leave her often at all, but I know if I really need to go somewhere my family will take wonderful care of her. 

It is still very important to me that Evelyn always feels like we will comfort her and meet her needs. I have not pushed any type of early independence on her and I really believe it shows. She is such a happy, alert baby!

When I have enough time to myself, I will try to post more photos of our pumpkin :)

Cry-it-out and baby's needs

First, let me link to an amazing post by a mama who sums it up much better than I can:

PhD in Parenting - CIO

I have never left Evelyn to cry it out. I have been in the bathroom peeing and couldn't get to her. I have had to leave her on the bed while I picked out clothes for the day and she has loudly disapproved. I have showered in four minutes while she whined in the jumper in the bathroom. I have held her in my arms for two hours trying to get her to go to sleep. But not once did I leave her alone to cry when I knew that I could be there for her. Some mamas might say that my choice to not leave Evie to cry is extreme. To me, leaving her to cry is extreme. But that is how *I* feel.

I completely comprehend the fact that babies cry for all sorts of different things. But they cry for the same reason. All babies from newborn to until about 18 months, maybe a bit younger, cry because they have a need. Not a want, but a genuine need. It's different if they reach for a "toy" that they can't have like a knife and then cry when you pull their hand away. That's plain dangerous. But it is not dangerous to pick up your baby when they cry and reach out for you.


We are always hearing from people that we have such a calm and alert baby. She is rarely fussy in public (I don't usually take her places when she's fussy to begin with) and most of the time she loves to interact with others. I'd like to think that part of her behavior is due to her comfort level and how she knows that if she tells me that she doesn't like something I will respond to her. You know when you let someone hold your baby, the baby starts to cry, and then the person holding the baby won't give her/him back because they want to soothe the baby? Well, in some cases maybe that's ok, but really it's only letting the baby know that you aren't going to respond to their need. The need being you, again. In the early days I had to fight at times with my family to return the baby when she cried. Sometimes I was made to feel ridiculous or incompetent because all I'd ever hear was "oh, she's fine", when clearly she was not fine. Yes, she was fed, changed, burped, nice and warm, but not ok. She wanted and needed mama or daddy.

Especially at night, when babies need to rest and recover from all the stimulation of the day's events and feelings, they need their parents more than ever. Babies sleep at night just like adults to physically and mentally recharge. It is so critical that babies fall asleep without stress. Yes, baby might be teething, or have gas, or have a tummy problem, but those are not situations that occur every night. They need to be soothed to sleep, regardless of the situation. Babies don't have a clue about how to put themselves to sleep! Their brains don't know how yet and forcing them to learn too early has consequences like everything else that is forced. Nowadays with our high-tech video monitors (don't get me wrong, I'd love to afford one for nap time) and a lock on our doors, not to mention the fact that this isn't 1000 BC, we don't absolutely need to be with our babies to know that they're ok. The difference is that the babies still need us to feel ok.

Science is finding time and time again that babies suffer unduly when parents use sleep training. I don't really understand why parents don't listen to the same "science" that says not washing hands will spread germs and disease. Not attending to your baby will produce excessive amounts of cortisol (the stress hormone), which impedes brain development in multiple areas. Physically, emotionally, cognitively; cortisol affects development. This isn't just a theory, it's a scientific fact. You can take any scientific fact with a grain of salt since science is disproved all the time, however, For me, for us, that was enough for me to choose not to use CIO.

YES, babies who have been left to cry-it-out will probably "be just fine". But how do you define "just fine"?? Even if bad things that happen to us aren't a direct result of something that happened before we were two, how do we know that certain experiences shaped who we are today? The many research studies on infant brain development tell us that prolonged crying or multiple periods of crying without soothing can permanently alter the brain. Even if the baby doesn't remember the crying, the brain does. Just like with infant circumcision and a variety of situations in which babies are hurt emotionally or physically, the brain remembers stress! If as parents, we try to minimize suffering and stress for our babies, then why is this method so popular?

Maybe we are all too tired, exhausted, and burnt out from working, cleaning, driving in traffic, worrying about finances, arguing, chasing kids around, getting food on the table and trying to be good people and good parents to remember that babies aren't doing any of those things. They are only relying on us to be there for them in each moment that they feel fear, anxiety, helplessness, and pain. It's so incredibly hard! But when we are there for them whenever they cry, it pays off tremendously.

Go love and snuggle your babies! (If only it were that easy, I know!)

Edited afterthought: There are so many different ways to parent. I realize that we all do whatever we feel is right, whether it be for our own needs, our baby's needs or our family's needs. What I'm really getting at is that it sucks to listen to a baby cry and choke and scream because they just want to be held and soothed. It's up to each family to decide, ultimately, but I know it's not for us.

7 months!

My sweet tiny baby who would not sleep unless she was literally laying on either Dave or myself is quietly sleeping on our bed and cooing in her sleep. Oh wait, now she's fussing. Be right back..

Ahh the night nursings! Evelyn probably nurses about 5-8 times a night. I don't know how I go without sleep, maybe it's the mommy hormones? It's kind of strange but Evie really does the majority of her nursing at night. I think it would be nice to switch to more frequent day feeds because I'm going to need sleep at some point, right? It's been 7 months and I think the last time I had even 6 hours of solid sleep was before I gave birth. But when that baby cuddles and reaches out for me at night, it's one of the best feelings in the whole world. Sometimes she turns to me and opens her mouth wide, grunting in anticipation of being fed. Then she lets out a huge sigh of relief and gulps for about 2 or 3 minutes. Did I mention she's a super fast eater? She can put down 5 ounces in less than 5 minutes!

So Evelyn is also sitting unassisted and just starting to support herself standing. I'm kind of surprised that she has taken so long to figure out standing. She's been sitting for a couple weeks, but only about a week ago did she figure out how to lock her legs and pull her body weight up. It's been really cute holding her while she wiggles out of my arms in an attempt to stand up. She's also wanting to be held facing forward. She'll tolerate the Ergo carrier for a bit, but then wants to face out. I need to figure out how to carry her like this and have it be comfortable for us both. The Moby Wrap supports a front carry so I'll maybe try it out tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to putting her in and out of the wrap because it's soooo long. I tried tonight, but she was really squirming and I was worried she would fall. I'm sure we'll figure something out.

We went on a fabulous trip to New York for Comic Con. Dave was hoping to get more networking done, but he had some great meetings with some game development companies. I had a blast meeting some of the ladies from Battlestar Galactica. We met Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Nicki Clyne, and Michelle Forbes. We also got a cute photo of Evie with Bruce Campbell. It was really neat meeting some of the cast since Dave and I just finished watching the series about two weeks ago. I admit, I was kind of a fangirl when Katee stopped on the way out of her autograph line to play with Evelyn for a couple minutes. I'm pretty sure Evie is going to think her mom is a huge geek!

We stayed with our beloved Bianca and her brother, Lukas. Our hotel was a two hour trip into the city and it just about killed us. Next time we're definitely footing the extra $$ and staying in Manhattan. We saw tons of other friends and had a great time. My back was killing me by the time we got home since I carried Evelyn the entire time, but is was worth the effort; she stayed very calm and happy throughout the majority of the trip. There was one night when were verbally harassed by a bunch of kids on the way home and I really lost my cool. We missed the last train out of NYC.. Evelyn was screaming and I was so upset that these kids were going out of their way to wake her up and be noisy to get attention. I guess they won because I am not proud of some of the things I said to them. A fight almost broke out between Dave and two of the boys, but they stepped down quickly when Dave said a few words. I was traumatized by that experience and learned a very valuable lesson(s). We are not staying outside Manhattan and we are not going to travel late at night. I can do a 10 minute subway ride, but a two hour trip home with a tired baby is a recipe for disaster. Goodness just thinking about that night gets me a little upset. But the rest of the trip was really great! -lol- I'm so thankful for Bianca and Lukas' ability to endure our crazy family trials!

I'm going to try and get some sleep tonight - Dave doesn't have to work tomorrow so I think we might pass Evie off to my wonderful parents in the morning. I also need to clean the guinea pig cage and do some laundry.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Baby Sleep

Evelyn has, for the third day in a row, napped for more than one hour. Huzzah! For the past five months she has only been taking naps in 30-60 minute intervals. So what has changed? Well, we have a little routine and that might just be key for helping EvieBell to go to sleep faster and stay asleep. I put the meditation music on with the curtains closed. We lay in bed and she nurses to sleep most of the time. When she doesn't fall asleep, I swaddle her and sway her back and forth with the paci. Then I lay her back down in the bed on her side with the paci. If she's not swaddled, I wrap the open-weave blanket around her bottom half and tuck the extra fabric behind her back. If she's swaddled, I just lay her down in the middle of the bed. Then I whisper "nigh-night" to her a few times to let her know that I'm still there. We have had amazing success with this method, so I'll keep using it. She did start to fuss a tiny bit in her sleep today, but I went back upstairs and popped the paci back in her mouth. She slept for another hour.

As I write, I can hear her starting to grunt and wiggle. I'm off to go greet my happy, rested baby!

~C

Singing and more

I just wanted to write that Evelyn is singing in her sleep. I put on some meditation music for her and she's been asleep for over an hour, singing and cooing away. Melts my heart! I think we have a new nap/bed time routine.

Also, I am happy to say that EvieBell has been eating prunes and pears for over a week with no issues. We're back on a daily poop, which is a huge improvement over once every 3-5 days. I could also tell that going less frequently was causing her to have more gas and to be a bit crankier. Breastfed babies can go for over a week without pooping because the nutrients in the milk are almost completely absorbed, unlike formula, which has tons of extra vitamins and minerals to compensate for the lack of absorption. Babies still get adequate nutrition from formula, of course, but breastmilk is much less wasteful and is specifically created for consumption by human babies. Now that E is getting a bit more fiber, I think it's really helping her poop better. I will never recommend apples or bananas to parents as a first food - it can be incredibly constipating. All the "P" fruits are better like pears, peaches, and prunes. I think next we're going to try some veggies. I have some Earth's Best peas and sweet potatoes. We'll see if she'll take either one!

Since Nestle bought out Gerber I cannot, in good conscience, buy any of their products whatsoever. I am very against Nestle and the harm they do by marketing their formulas to impoverished women and babies. It creates a domino effect; mothers get formula for their babies, they switch between breastmilk and formula, usually their milk dries up because they are encouraged to use more formula, and when the formula runs out, they can no longer afford it plus their milk has dried up. So what do the babies eat? Mothers resort to diluting formula, which is exponentially worse than having less than ideal breastmilk. There is a website about this issue, but I need to track it down. Many breastfeeding advocates boycott Nestle because of their contribution to infant mortality and poor health. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Anyway, I don't buy anything from Nestle or its affiliate companies, and they have over 30.

On a lighter note, we have to go to Evelyn's 5 month check-up! I will post her stats later. I'm guessing she hit the 15 pound mark!