11 Months

Our baby girl is 11 months. One month away from being a WHOLE YEAR OLD. Just where did the time go?? I can tell you.

Once Evelyn was born I was in a total fog. For about a month. Those first two weeks of learning how to breastfeed and get sleep with a baby who refused to sleep on any non-living and breathing surface was unbelievably trying. I was so happy to be a mom but I was so devastated that the process by which this was achieved had almost killed me. When you have a newborn, your whole world is turned upside down, over and over again. Each time your baby cries your heart stops beating and your whole being wants to go to this tiny human and comfort it.

As the weeks went on, I became less paranoid about being at home with Evelyn but was still paranoid about going anywhere with her. Figuring out when and how to take her out was a big challenge. We had breastfeeding down. We knew how to cloth diaper. We knew how to use the wrap and the sling. But for some reason I was terrified of leaving the house without someone. Mainly my issue was about her crying in the car and having to pull over repeatedly. I just couldn't bear to hear her cry for any period of time. Sounds lame looking back, but it was relevant and important to me in so many ways to put her happiness and comfort above ALL of my needs. I found it hard to go pee because she would cry if I left. I didn't shower unless Dave was home and even then I became easily stressed if I could hear her crying from the bathroom. And if I didn't hear her crying I thought she might be, but the shower was too loud for me to actually hear. How ridiculous this all seems to me now, but I still look back on it fondly.

Evelyn got a little bigger, a little more animated, and we got used to being around each other. I slowly ventured out of my mamababy nest, diaper bag filled to the brim (except I always forgot something important) and cell phone ready. I must have called Dave a million times in those early months. Just having another person on the phone while I was grocery shopping or going to the pediatrician's office helped me tremendously. I was still severely depressed but I forced myself to get out from time to time. I immersed myself in thought; thoughts about parenting, infant development, motherhood, my birth, and all sorts of other issues that were important to me. I watched LOTS of shows on Hulu. I ate LOTS of hot pockets. I lived and breathed for my daughter and couldn't think about things other than the mamababy relationship, emotionally and physically, for many months.

Maybe once Evelyn got to about 6 or 7 months, I really started to feel like a mom. A mom who knew what she was doing, who wasn't so afraid to talk about her parenting choices, who wasn't afraid to take her baby outside or on a car trip, and who knew exactly what her baby needed if she cried, fussed, smiled, or reached out to me.

Once I started to feel like a real mom things changed for me. My depression was still there but I felt like I could actually do things to help it. I felt like Evelyn and I had our own language and I understood her better than any other person. She had developed trust in me to understand her signals and care for them appropriately. She knew that if something was wrong, I'd keep trying to figure it out and wouldn't eat or sleep until she was ok. I realize now that I could have delegated more or even let her fuss for two minutes while I made a bowl of cereal...but as a first-time mom those things weren't important to me.

Evelyn has been to New York City three times, up to Maine twice, been on four flights and attended about 6 conventions. She has gone on numerous other little road trips, one most recently down to Florida to help a dear friend during her birth and immediate post-partum period. She has just been a trooper when it comes to travel. As long as we have the Ergo everything is fine :)

Over the past three weeks Evelyn's development has just blown me away. She started eating real people food and basically refuses pureed baby food now. She started crawling. She loves to hold your fingers and walk laps around the living room and kitchen. Sometimes she even runs. She has stood a few times unassisted, much to her surprise. She learned "Kee-ee" (kitty), "Ditduu" (thank you), and "Ehoh" (elmo). She already knows Nigh-night, Mama, Dada, Nuhnums, and will shake her booty on demand if you either sing or say the word "dancing". I can't believe how well she communicated her needs to us and understands what we're saying.

I knew these days would come I just didn't think it would be so soon!

We have also been successfully catching many poops and pees on the froggy potty. If I was better about it we'd catch most eliminations on the potty, but we run around a lot these days and I depend on my diapers.

I am trying to decide what to do for Evelyn's first birthday and it almost immediately overwhelms me so I put it off. I can't do that any longer. Invitations must get sent out and plans must be made. This baby is turning one whether I like it or not.

Baby Photos!

Our day

Mmm orange slices!

Mmm wet napkin to suck on at Can Can!

Simba love!

Mommy kisses :3

We had a lovely day today. I suggested that my mom, grandma and baby (all four generations) all go walking around Carytown. We stopped in at Franklin Goose to talk about how I will be hosting the diaper swap once a month, and I also wanted to troubleshoot our nighttime diaper troubles!

Yes, nighttime cloth diaper troubles.. It's bad. We have tried almost everything. I'm talking two hemp inserts with a prefold. Two prefolds and one hemp insert. I really can't stuff the pocket diapers any bigger than they already are, otherwise we'd have even bigger leaking issues. It just so happens that we have a super mega ultra heavy wetter. I think it's because she nurses about 10x per night and maybe 5x or so during the day. She just pees and pees and pees some more. I'm worried that we're going to have to move on to wool covers. I will post about wool some other time, but basically it absorbs the extra pee that might leak out the diaper and the lanolin neutralizes the ammonia, so you have no stink or smell. Just wash in a lanolin solution once every two weeks. That easy. But the covers range from 20-45 bucks and yikes!

So the nighttime issue has got me pulling my hair out, not to mention changing the sheets almost every night. We had such a great day that I'm not too worked up about it right now. Plus, the fabulous Stephanie over at Abby's Lane is helping me come up with more solutions.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

~C

EC and potty training

A friend asked me a long time ago to write about EC - which stand for elimination communication. Simply put, you learn to read your baby's cues for peeing and pooping, while guiding them by making your own cues to help them eliminate on a potty or anyplace else one might eliminate. This sounds really ridiculous to the average American, but this practice is alive and well in many other civilized countries around the world.

Photo from www.diaperfreebaby.org

I have wanted to teach Evelyn EC but I am being selfish. I am in love with my cloth diapers and I feel so intimidated by the whole process of what many EC'ers call infant potty learning. I will admit that I can be on the defensive about cloth diapering; after all, most babies in America wear Pampers, Huggies or Luvs. I'm not particularly against disposables since we use them from time to time, but I am against dumping millions of non-biodegradable diapers into our landfills daily. It takes approximately 150-300 YEARS for one regular diaper to break down.

We use cloth for so many reasons, not just because we're trying to fit the mold of the hippie, natural parents.

Anyway, back to EC - sorry I get derailed easily! Besides the fact that I already thought there would be challenges, both physically and socially to using cloth diapers, I feel that it is an unsurmountable task to be ok with everyone thinking I'm completely psycho for trying EC out. Do you know what I mean? If it isn't enough that we're not going with the grain and "just using disposables", having to take our infant to the potty several times in a variety of social situations probably wouldn't fly with over half, if not most of our friends and family. Not that our friends and family don't love and support us, but some things are just WAY out of people's comfort zones.

So WHY on EARTH would we want to use EC with Evelyn?

First, it creates a positive and relaxed association with going potty. Many children struggle with potty training and parents can quickly get into a power war with their kids over it.

Second, it creates a strong connection between your ability to read your baby's cues and your baby's knowledge that you can respond to their needs. This kind of goes along the lines of attachment parenting, where your baby needs to know that you'll try to respond to their needs in a timely, loving way (which is normal for the first two years of life - all needs are needs, there is no such thing as a baby who is trying to get back at you for something or is trying to irritate you intentionally).

Third, it helps the child learn from an early age that using the potty is not gross or shameful, and we don't have to essentially "hide" or be shameful of normal bodily functioning. I read recently that researchers are starting to understand much much more about our obsession with sexuality and it being shameful, tracing all the way back to infancy. Please don't read this as "if you wore diapers you are probably a sexual deviant". It just means that science is proving once again that the way we are cared for in very early childhood and infancy definitely shapes who we become as adults. Parenting is important!

Photo from http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com

Fourth, less diapers to throw away, wash, and spend $$ on. If your baby is cuing to potty 80% of the time, that's a whole lot of money saved now, plus energy spent on the dreaded potty training phase.

Babies who EC usually have multiple potties around the house and during nap times they sleep on a waterproof pad with a cloth prefold diaper or a fleece blanket on top. Fleece wicks away moisture and fluids, while cotton and the like absorbs. It works out well - we've done it a few times with Evelyn during very hot nights.

How EC is done: Mothers and parents will read baby's cue to pee, like fidgeting or stiffening legs, then the parent will respond by cuing the baby with a "psss" sound, for example. When first beginning you sort of have to catch the baby peeing a few times to cue them with the sound to make the initial association. You might take them straight to the potty after waking up in the morning or after a nap. Do this enough times and you will be able to mostly know when baby needs to eliminate, and baby will wait for your cue to release. Easy-peasy, right? Well, maybe not totally easy. Like all things, EC can take some getting used to for both parties.

Some families feed their babies over a potty, since the act of drinking or consuming usually signals the body to eliminate. Most babies pee during or after a feed, some will poop during a certain time of the day, too, which makes clean up very easy.

Babies who use EC often go without diapers or underwear, since the point is to communicate with them about going potty. Some families take their babies outside to pee, or will hold their babies in a squat position over the grass or a bush to pee. I'm not too sure how I would feel about holding Evelyn up to a bush in the mall so that she could pee. In many other countries and societies around the world, that is the norm. I suppose if you're out for a walk and your baby signals, you can do it sort of discreetly?Not that you must, but this is just my own train of thought. This is different than throwing trash in someone's yard - urine is a completely natural and useful substance for plant life. We're just not ok as a culture witnessing public elimination. You're probably thinking that only drunk, homeless people do this.

Photo from www.thepottyshop.com.au

So there's a huge hurdle for most parents, even cloth diapering and natural families, to try EC because of the societal pressures and stigma associated with it. I get weird looks from people if they see one of Evelyn's beautiful cloth diapers. As if scrape poop off the diapers with my bear hands, throw it in the washing machine, then dump my regular clothes in (no pun intended).

As with many unconventional parenting ways, it's the lack of knowledge about EC that creates such a fuss. I would really like to give it a go and maybe EC part-time. Now's the time to do it and I can't wait much longer or Evelyn will be very set in her (pee-in-the-diaper) ways.

Planet Detergent in Maine-Holy Moly!!

OMG!!! Planet is here in Westbrook, Maine at the local Hannaford grocery store! I have been looking for it FOREVER! I want to eventually buy Rockin' Green detergent, but it's kind of expensive and Planet is super awesome for cloth diapers!

So we are up and getting ready to go buy some detergent that I can finally wash my cloth diapers in while we're on vacation.

~C

Evelyn is 2 months old!

I am so happy. Our baby girl is 2 months old and doing so wonderfully well. I feel so bad that I have not been able to blog about her lately. Having a newborn is hard work when you're a first-time mom and it's incredibly hard to find a half hour to give everyone updates! Our house is slowly filling up with laundry and general messiness, despite my efforts to clean a little bit each day. There have been things on my to-do list since before March and of course they aren't done yet. I can't even keep Evelyn's baby clothes put away and organized. I have to admit it's generally easier to just grab a sleeper off the clean laundry pile than to go into the closet and look through everything..  Oh but I love her so much and I'd rather have a messy house than a screaming, hungry, bored baby!!


So what's been going on with us? Well not too much, really. I am very proud to say that we have been succeeding at breastfeeding so far. Now that Evelyn is sleeping for about two 4-hour blocks at night, we no longer need to switch shifts and have Dave give her bottles of pumped milk while I sleep. I am so proud that I stayed so determined while we had breastfeeding issues for the first two weeks. It's so wonderful to be able to feed and nourish my baby from my own body; the way nature intended. We have also been using cloth diapers 100% of the time. It is definitely easier than I thought it would be! Now that she's fitting into her GroBaby, now called GroVia, diapers it is so easy to do two loads every other day. Her soaker pads get a rinse and hot wash, then her outer shells get one wash on warm. The shells air dry in about a half hour, and the soakers dry on high in the dryer in about an hour. Ah I love them!! They are so cute on her and she has had NO diaper rash since we did cloth full-time. I don't think we'll actually be able to use disposables at all because we have tried to put her in them and she immediately gets a rash on her legs where the elastic is. I know that seems strange, but she really does start breaking out. We tried Pampers Swaddlers and Huggies Pure & Natural and they both gave her a rash. It would be nice to find something to use in case of an emergency so I might try the Seventh Generation kind. I think it's the chlorine bleach on the elastic that does it.. hrm..


What else.. Well, Evelyn got her first vaccines a few weeks ago. She got the Rotavirus drink and the first DTaP. We are following a delayed vaccine schedule that can be found in the Dr. Sears Vaccine Book. I feel very confident about our decision to vaccinate and do it on a more delayed schedule. I am just not comfortable giving her so many vaccines in a short period of time. I suppose I'm just following my maternal instincts on this one. Although the AAP and CDC say that the normal schedule is perfectly fine, I don't buy it and I'm ok with not buying it. Evie's pediatrician is quite comfortable with Sears' schedule and recommends it if parents are wary of the normal schedule. She rocks! Dr. Annemarie Tull at The Pediatric Center. She has 3 children and nursed them all past one year. She's also a lactation consultant. Our beloved midwife, Nancy, gave us Dr. Tull's name and after our interview with her we were sold. I highly recommend her to parents in the Richmond area.


My body seems to be getting back to normal fairly quick. At 2 months post-partum, I weight about 147, and my pre-pregnancy weight was 152. Nancy says it's because I am producing a lot of breastmilk and my body is basically burning calories all day long. I have been trying to eat more recently, but I am steadily losing about a pound or so every week. I still have the linea nigra on my belly, but my stomach is actually flatter than it was before I was pregnant. I have noticed a slight widening of my hips because many of my pants are looser in the leg, but tighter in the hips. Oh joy. Now I need pants! Since we plan on breastfeeding well past one year, I anticipate keeping weight off. Maybe with the next baby I won't be so quick to bounce back; in fact, I plan on exercising more next time!


I am still thinking of Evelyn's birth often. It took me a few weeks to be OK with how everything played out. I had a tiny bit of regret that I requested the epidural before we even got to the hospital. After talking with Nancy for over an hour last week, I came to the conclusion that it really was necessary for me to get through Evie's birth with my sanity intact. With all the dry-heaving, vomiting, and intense contractions, Evelyn wasn't moving down and my body was becoming overly stressed too fast. As soon as I had the epidural, my cervix opened right up and she descended beautifully to be born only about 5 hours later. I also think that in some ways I deserved to have that easy delivery in the end. After being so sick for so many months, then being sick during labor, it was really nice to gently push her out at my own pace! I feel so good about Evelyn's birth now that I've had time to reflect. She is a beautiful, healthy baby and I couldn't have asked for a better birth team.


I promise after every post that I will do my best to keep everyone updated, and I really do try. Anyone who has had a newborn can probably empathize. I know that we have many friends and family who live too far to visit as much as they would like, so it is important to me to keep this going. I'm sure that as Evelyn grows a bit more and does not need someone to hold her every second, it will be easier to blog. In the meantime, thank you for being so patient (or at least trying to be) with me as I navigate being a new mother. Now for some Evie photo love!!!

~ Christine

Evelyn at 6 weeks - we're getting the hang of this!

Here's the newest photo of our sweetness and a few others.

She loves sleeping with her hand by her head

This is how we hold her paci in her mouth sometimes because she hasn't quite learned how to keep it in there..

She's just starting to smile when she's happy

This is exactly what I looked like when I was a baby. I love her furrowing!!

Now that we're on week 7 I feel much more like a sane mother than a stressed out person who just had this adorable baby, but who wasn't quite connected yet. I was at a dear friend's birth a few days ago for about 24 hours and I missed my baby so much!! I absentmindedly forgot my breast pump shells when I brought my breast pump so I had to spend about 30 mins in the bathroom trying to hand express milk into the little storage baggies - NOT fun. The hospital was so gracious and set me up with one of their breast pumps so I did not explode from engorgement. I was thinking of Evelyn so often that I kept having let downs. Ouch! The birth was amazing and I kept flashing back to my own experiences weeks prior. It did not make me less present, it just kept me thinking about how I could help the situation with new knowledge about what may help a laboring mother. It was pretty neat!

Evelyn is doing so well. At 6 weeks she weighed 6lb 7oz and was in the 50% range for length, weight, and head circumference. She received her DTaP and Rotavirus vaccine, which wasn't pleasant for either of us.. Breastfeeding is going very well despite our rough start. I'm glad I kept going, to say the least. I do have an overactive let down, plus I have an abundant milk supply. Evelyn sometimes chokes a bit on the milk because she can't get it down fast enough. She will get gas later on if I can't get her to burp during and after feedings, too. It has been so hard to just lay with her, holding her legs up and letting her suck on the paci while she tries to get her gas out.. poor baby. I can tell it's painful but sometimes no matter what I do she won't burp. Lately the gripe water has been working small miracles. She loves the apple flavor so we have no trouble giving it to her in the dropper, thank goodness!

We are cloth diapering 99% of the time and using cloth wipes 90% of the time. She is finally fitting into her GroBaby diapers and I'm thrilled. We are still using her Thirsties covers with the cotton prefolds, also. I really want to get use out of the prefold method before she grows out of them otherwise I'd feel like they were a waste of money. Both diapers look cute on her and in my opinion, aren't too bulky. Sure, they are visibly larger than disposables, but I could really care less. I think her big butt is so cute and I feel very satisfied with cloth diapering. Laundry has been no problem at all - we wash about once a day because I don't have enough time for a 3 hour chunk every 2 days like many moms do. Evie needs me to hold her so often and I still tire easily. We set up a drying rack with multiple rungs out on the deck so the sun can bleach out the poop stains in the diapers. I accidentally pre-washed the diapers in hot one day and it set in stains in about 12 diapers. Hopefully over the next few days they will bleach out and we can avoid using any actual bleaching products. I am having an issue with my wipes warmer which makes it hard to use cloth wipes 100% of the time. It has been getting moldy very quickly even though I am following the instructions. I need to call them or search on some message boards for people with similar issues. I'd really like to do cloth all the time, but I can't put mold on Evie's tushie!

I am beyond tired right now and I must sleep for now. There's so much more I want to share, so hopefully I will have the time to write again very very soon. 

~Christine

Just have to share...

I just have to share..


I got my detergent in the mail today and I am listening to the final rinse cycle for the diapers and doublers!!!!!!! To save time, energy and water, Dave and I decided to boil the diapers to loosen the wax instead of washing them 5-6 times. Washing involves a cold rinse, hot wash and cold rinse, plus drying the diapers fully before putting them in for another wash. Total time for one load: about 2 hours. Multiply 2 by 6.. 12 hours to fully prep my prefold diapers. 


Why do I have to "prep" my diapers? Because the manufacturing process leaves a lot of cotton wax in the diapers that will repel moisture. Not good for absorbency!! In order to remove this waxy build-up, you need to wash your diapers in super hot water with cloth diaper-safe detergent many times to really get it out. Boiling the diapers gets a TON of wax out and cuts your prep washes down to one. ONE. So I boiled about 4 at a time between two big pots and was done with the boiling process in about 2 hours. Dave was a huge help with stirring and transferring the hot diapers into the sink for me. After all the diapers and doublers (layered cotton pads that are for extra absorbency) were boiled, I put them through a cold rinse to wash out the waxy water, then did a hot wash with my Rockin Green detergent and cold rinse. Now I just have to put them in the dryer on low and I will have newborn diapers for Baby E!!!


I'm just so excited about cloth diapering, can you tell? Will post more about the diapers and include pictures when everything is all set! It's good night/morning for now - I'm exhausted from all this diaper stuff.


~Christine

Diaper registry link and cloth diapers

::sigh:: It’s late and I can’t seem to sleep so I’m going to write for a lil bit.


After spending many hours online in search of a good place to set up a diaper registry, I found a great local lady who runs Abby’s Lane. She is based out of Virginia and has FREE SHIPPING. This is a big deal for me. So many sites charge way to much for shipping and it was important that if I had a registry where people could buy our diapers, they wouldn’t have to shell out an extra $10 for shipping. Her prices are the same as other online diaper retailers, and I am thrilled to have our diaper registry on this site. Another bonus is that you don’t have to set up an account with the site to order a registry item. All of the other sites I researched required guests to open an account with a log in and password. I found this to be ridiculous and somewhat of a deterrent to buying items off the site. No one likes spam and no one likes to set up an unnecessary account on a site they will probably visit infrequently. I’m a happy camper knowing I have selected the easiest set up for folks who would like to contribute to our most desired diaper stash :) 


Abby's Lane registry link 


For those of you asking - Why cloth diapers?? Aren’t disposables the way to go? Are you guys just crazy hippies? What will you do when you go out? Do you seriously carry poop-filled diapers around with you? What will you do at conventions? I don’t want to smell your dirty diapers! Fear not, I have done a LOT of research and I’m not going into this completely inexperienced >.< Although I have only babysat one child in cloth diapers, I have a lot of understanding about how they work, the different types, how to launder and store them, as well as which types I will prefer for our lifestyle.


Learning about cloth diapering over the past 4 months has led me to choose the GroBaby system. The diapers “grow” with your baby, as you snap the diaper height-wise to fit the size of your baby. There are 3 settings that will fit babies throughout their entire diapering journey (unless you have a late potty trained child who simply gets too big to fit into them). The GroBaby system comes with an outer shell and a snap in soaker pad. With a soaker pad, you do not have to put a diaper in the wash every time baby pees. If the soaker pad gets wet and the shell does not, you just snap out the shell and put it in your wash/diaper pail, then place a clean soaker into the shell. For poopy diapers, you’d do the same, unless any pee or poop got on the shell. At that point you would put the shell and soaker pad in the wash/diaper pail. This makes it very easy to go through maybe 2-4 shells per day, versus 7+ full diapers daily. Although the GroBaby diapers cost about $5 more than most all-in-one cloth diapers, they can be used for a longer period of time, reducing the number of total diapers you have to buy in the long run. Most people would buy about 20+ cloth diapers, where with the GroBaby, you only have to buy around 10-12 shells and the soaker pads come with it. You can also buy additional soaker pads for about $17 for a 2-pack. I LOVE this system and it has received amazing reviews from many different sites and on diaper forums.

There is *not* a specific color for each size, the photo is just giving you an idea of some of the available colors. The prints are so cute, too.


When it comes to traveling with a cloth-diapered baby, it’s not as difficult as many people think. Yes, you store the dirty diapers in an air/smell tight bag until you get home to put them in your diaper pail or straight to the wash. That is not a big concern for me because as long as the bag is smell-tight, who cares? The diapers seal up nicely and once they are in the smell-proof bag you cannot smell them. You can also (gasp) take the diaper into the restroom and shake the poop off into the toilet while someone else is watching the baby. This does not involve getting poop on your hands. Poop is supposed to go in the toilet, not the trash. Many people throw their disposables away with large amounts of poop in them when you are not supposed to do that. It says on every diaper package that you should try to remove excess waste before throwing it away. Anyway, dealing with poop is a big concern for a lot of people, but it’s a small inconvenience for me. Cloth diapers are healthier for baby because they are not chemical-filled. Many commercial disposable diapers are bleached and contain chemicals that give babies diaper rashes more often than parents like. Some babies are very allergic to disposable diapers, but parents will use diaper rash creams or they go through many extra diapers per day to keep baby dry, instead of considering a cloth alternative. This is rarely a concern for cloth diapered babies, as cotton is very absorbent and there are special fleece inserts you can buy to wick moisture away from the bottom if your baby does get a rash. If the diaper needs to be changed more frequently, you are not wasting money on extra disposables, you are just washing maybe a little more frequently. Believe it or not, the water used to make disposable diapers far outweighs the water a family will use during their cloth diapering years.


A new option for the GroBaby system is a chlorine-free biodegradable insert that lays in the diaper instead of a soaker pad. This makes traveling VERY easy. If the baby poops or pees, you just remove the insert, shake off the solids if it's there, and throw the insert away. It degrades completely in 50-150 days, versus many many years for one disposable diaper (excluding disposable eco-diapers that biodegrade). This is a great option for when we are traveling and don’t want to hassle with a mound of dirty diapers, especially if we are on a longer trip with no place to wash the diapers.


Overall, Dave and I are meeting our goals of keeping un-biodegradable waste out of landfills, spending much less money in the long run, and most importantly; putting something safe and gentle on our baby’s bum. Here is a link to Abby’s Lane Cloth Diapering 101 that answers many common questions about diapering.


~Christine