Birth Reflections (and some repeats)

Oh man, where to start.. I think the first thing that comes to mind when I reflect on Evelyn's birth is how grateful I am that I had a very positive birth experience overall. I am so glad we had Nancy as our midwife.  I am so glad I became aware of midwives and the midwifery model of care. I will never choose to have an obstetrician assist me in birthing my babies. Not because I don't trust my OB, but because I trust my midwife more. I trusted Nancy to know how I was doing and how Evelyn was tolerating the birth. I trusted Nancy to know how to care for me during my pregnancy and to respect my beliefs and desires about how I wanted this baby's birth to be. 


I wrote in my birth story about how hard the first part of my labor was. I still don't know why I became so sick during labor. Up until that point I had felt that I wouldn't get hyperemesis of labor. I thought that my pregnancy had been hard enough and to be sick during labor was just wrong and shouldn't happen to me. But it did and we dealt with it. I dealt with it. I had to dry-heave with each contraction, causing immense pain and  making me dry-heave even more. It was awful. But when Nancy told me while I was in the tub that it was making her ill watching me go through that, I felt relieved. There was a part of me that was hanging on to having a homebirth. A big part. And part of trusting my body was knowing that this just wasn't going to work out at home. 


Making the decision to get an epidural was not something I spent much time on. It was like the dots connected almost instantly in my head. I had done so much research about epidurals that I knew why it was a good idea for me to get one. I felt so much relief and confidence that I had made the right decision. There was no worry in my mind about a possible c-section. It was weird, actually, looking around and really taking in how not only was in a hospital, but I was hooked up to an IV, had an external fetal monitor, an epidural and was getting a small amount of pitocin. So many interventions! That was not what I thought this birth would be like at all! 


So even though I had the interventions, I was in charge of my birth from the beginning. I did not choose to do these things from the start. I chose a midwife and planned a home birth. I did my research, became very involved, asked questions, and made informed decisions. For me, it wasn't like I was being manipulated and I just ended up like any other woman going into the hospital to have her baby. It was all necessary. Weeks after the birth Nancy told me that a century ago I probably wouldn't have survived the pregnancy, and if I did, I would have died in childbirth. This coming from a midwife who has helped birth thousands of babies really *really* took any guilt I had and flushed it straight down the toilet. 


One thing I want to mention is how my views on birth have changed since I've had my own baby. I am still in fierce support of natural, home birth, but I appreciate the medical side of birth more. I still don't encourage moms to plan on choosing interventions because I think *most* of the time it damages the labor process. But not all babies born to mothers with epidurals are doped up at birth, either. It depends on how much of the pain medication is injected through the epidural into the mother throughout labor. I only had one dose of actual pain medication during the insertion and never took more. I did start to feel pain while Evelyn was crowning and being born, but it was good thing because I wasn't numb. I felt my baby being born and that was a magnificent experience.


I have wondered or asked myself if there was anything I would have done differently. I don't think so. I know what to do differently now that I've been through it all, and that's what's important to me for the next baby. I know that probiotics earlier in my pregnancy will probably help my hyperemesis. I have learned that I need fluids more often during pregnancy, along with more vitamins and acid-reflux medication from the start. If I had taken prevacid earlier, I probably would not have been sick for so long. These are all things I have learned through experience; there was no way for me to know ahead of time. I am really hoping that if we have another baby in 3-4 years my hyperemesis won't be as bad and I will be able to have my beautiful home birth. Nancy seems to think that next time around labor will be much faster and if we can just get the nausea under control, I will do really well. ::fingers crossed::


Evelyn's birth was still very beautiful to me and I love sharing my story. As soon as I can figure out how to get video off my camera, I will post a link to my birth video on youtube. Yes, I'm putting it up there in all it's glory. If it wasn't for all the birth videos that other moms have posted, I would not be as confident as I am about being a doula and understanding birth. It is different for all women and I think it's important that I give my story back to the community. 


Please ask away if you have questions or comments.


~Christine

My Super Long Birth Story

Due Date: 

So it was Wednesday, March 10th, 2010. The great anticipated date of Evelyn's birth. I had been so dilated, effaced, and with baby at low station for many weeks and I was sure we would be having this little one before that day. When 3-10 came, we had an appointment with Nancy, our beloved midwife. It was around 10AM. I went into her house thinking that I might ask her to strip my membranes, but I was very willing to have her tell me that it wasn't a good idea. She checked me after talking at length (1 hour) about the birth process and how it might be for me. We talked about how since the baby was so far down already, I would most likely skip that early phase of labor where it takes about 12 hours to go from 0 cm dilated to 3-4. This is called early labor. I caved and told Nancy that I was anxious for the first time, regarding Evelyn's impending arrival. I told her in all honesty that I was thinking about her stripping me. She said she wanted me to be patient, but she saw the exhaustion in my eyes, I suppose. She said that if she stripped me, I would either go into labor within 48 hours or nothing would happen. Stripping only "works" if you are going to go into labor within the next few days anyway, she said. If the baby is not ready to come out, stripping the membranes won't do a darn thing besides make me cramp for a few hours. I was laying on the bed with my legs open, while she was checking and she said she could get about two fingers in my cervix. She then asked me, point blank, if I wanted her to "talk to my cervix"... it's Nancy's way of putting it. I said yes immediately so she did. It was relatively painless until the stretching caused me to have a few contractions. When she was done, there was a bit of blood, which Nancy said was a good sign that my body was getting ready to go into labor soon. Dave and I went home, excited and hopeful that this would be it. That night I finished getting the bedroom ready so Evelyn, Dave and I could all coexist in that space together. 

Early Labor: 

That night I continued cramping. The next morning, I was very groggy from not sleeping and I had just dreamed that Nala, our kitten, had knocked over a glass in the kitchen and cut herself. I'm not sure what the heck that was all about, but then I woke just in time to hear the big thud and unmistakeable sound of glass breaking. I quickly sat up and cried to Dave that I had just dreamt that Nala was hurt. Sure enough, she and Baloo had been rough-housing up on the counter. Nala had sprung up onto the breakfast bar, into the sink, knocking out many dishes, and then leaped to the floor, cutting her leg open on the broken plates. She had a big gash on her back leg. I immediately called the vet to tell them we were coming in for an emergency. When I went to the bathroom to pee, I wiped and a huge chunk of my mucus plug had come out. I immediately started having some mild contractions. I thought to myself, OH CRAP. I was beginning to go into labor and our kitten was just hurt. Off to the vet we go!! The vet wanted to keep Nala for us, but we had to explain that I was in labor, and that my parents could keep her at their house while I was giving birth and recovering. The vet quickly stitched Nala up; she was totally fine and they said it would heal fabulously in a week or so). After paying about $300 for an hour visit (I was contracting in the waiting room the entire time) we decided to go home where I would labor until I wanted to go to my parents' house. 

Active Labor at Home: 

When we got home, I opened up the contraction master app on my iPhone and started timing. I actually saved the sheet of contractions in my email! Time was fuzzy from that point on. Once we got settled and I was no longer panicked about Nala, things picked up with my labor. This was at about 6:15 pm, and my contractions were on average 4-5 mins apart. I called Nancy to tell her that I was in labor and how far apart the contractions were. I wanted to wait until they were somewhere between 2-4 to go to my parents' house and Nancy thought that I should go when I feel like things are getting a little difficult. Well, I made the smooth move of attempting to take a shower to ease my labor pains. The shower felt amazing with the intensely hot water on my back, but my contractions picked up quickly!!! Around 7:30 pm I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. I called Nancy right back and told her that they were 2-3 now. She said to get in the car ASAP and get down to the house. We finished getting packed within 20 mins and were off to mom and dad's house. 

The car ride was horrible and by the time we got there, I was already groaning in a low tone. I went straight to the bedroom and leaned over the bed, waving my hips side to side. I then went into the bathroom and got on all fours in front of the tub. Nancy and Therese arrived minutes after us. Nancy came in, greeted me, and had me lay back so she could check me. I was about 3cm dilated and more than 50% effaced. I kept laboring on all fours in the bathroom, then decided to go lay down on the bed and save some strength since I knew Evelyn's birth would be many hours away still. 

Somewhere between the bathroom and the bed, I became super nauseated and threw up. I tried to get comfy on the bed, but I was getting nauseous with each contraction. When the contraction would start to come, I would try to relax. Instantly my body would dry-heave. The only way for me to not dry-heave was to tense my stomach muscles a bit, which made the contractions even more painful. It was so awful! I tried to eat applesauce, which I threw up. I tried to eat some sherbert, but that came up, too. Peanut butter, crackers, even water would make me more nauseous. After laying in bed with some killer contractions, I asked if I could try the tub, or Nancy suggested it. I don't remember. I do remember walking into the bathroom while the tub was filling and anxiously getting in there, hoping for some pain relief and a break from the dry-heaving. My body was calm for about 5 minutes, then the nausea swept over me again. We had to have a bucket in the tub and every time I had a contraction, I would have to sit up and throw up in the bucket that was floating on the water. About 20-30 minutes into this tub time, and with Nancy sitting and supporting me next to the tub, she said "Honey, I hate to see you so sick like this." She said she was thinking that I was starting to get dehydrated and we would see how things go for a little bit longer. I had about 3 more contractions and between them I was telling Nancy how I was prepared to go to the hospital. We had talked at length about the possibility of me having hyperemesis of labor, since I had had it for almost 7 months for the pregnancy. There was no admitting defeat if I had to relocate to the hospital, and I felt strongly that I was not going to torture myself at home when it was crystal clear that I would literally not survive this birth if we stayed home. Yes, that sounds very dramatic, but it was very true. Many women can go hours being in labor without hydrating, but when you are throwing up bile, it's not a healthy situation for the mother or the baby. Eventually my muscles would not have enough strength to actually contract and help the baby down the birth canal. I don't like to think about what could have happened. Nancy sympathetically said that it was making her sick seeing me so sick and that it really was time to get proper help. She never talked me into anything. I said we should go and she agreed, very happy that I was thinking rationally. As we were getting ready to go, I took a shower to help relieve some pain. I even threw up in the shower. Dave came in to tell me that Nancy mentioned the possibility of trying an epidural to help my body relax. I knew right away that Nancy was not pushing intervention on me and what she was thinking made complete sense. I had also done a lot of research on epidurals and when it is a good idea to use one. This was one of them. I got out of the shower and told Dave to tell Nancy that I wanted an epidural as soon as we got to the hospital. 

Active Labor at Hospital:

So off to the hospital we went. Nancy had already called Dr. Fitzhugh (her back-up OB) and he would meet us there. I walked through the parking lot, through my contractions, and straight into my labor and delivery room. A nurse came in minutes later, hooked me up to a saline drip, and they gave me IV zofran to try and knock out the nausea. It worked for a short while, but I kept dry-heaving. The thing about zofran is that it will work better if you can get it in your system before you start throwing up. Once you start throwing up, it's a toss up as to whether it will actually stop the heaving. I toughened up, knowing that it would take about 20 minutes to get the epidural. It took almost every ounce of my strength to breathe slowly and stay loose. Those were the most difficult 20 minutes of my labor. I wanted so badly to throw up, and it took some incredibly focus to manage each contraction along with each wave of nausea. I will never forget that sensation of immense pain and nausea at the same time. The sounds of the anesthesia cart was like instant relief and the anxiety momentarily stopped my contractions. Dave was able to stay with me as she put the needle in my back. I have two tattoos on my back, so the pain of the needle insertion was cake! I felt almost delirious from all the pain and nausea at that point. I was about ready to pass out and I had only been laboring for about 4 hours.

The epidural started working immediately and I finally had relief. I didn't mind the pain as much as I minded the nausea. I could have dealt with the pain very well if I hadn't felt the need to throw up. Oh my gosh it was so bad. After the epidural had fully kicked in, I took a much needed rest. I don't remember much about falling asleep and waking up. I needed rest badly. I know I made small talk with Nancy and everyone else in the room for about a half hour until I went to sleep. The relief I felt from not having to throw up was so incredible. It was like waking back up again from the nightmare that was the hyperemesis I had for so many months during my pregnancy. I knew the hard part was over and I could ENJOY this birth. 

Since I had decided to have the epidural put in, I was going to need a tiny bit of pitocin to keep my labor going while I was resting. As most people know, pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin, the hormone that during birth, makes the uterus contract and push the baby down. Oxytocin also helps relieve pain, as long as the mother can stay relatively relaxed. When administered in a hospital, the range of pitocin goes from 1-20. Nancy said they would start me on two, then go up every 15 minutes as needed. I vocalized that I wanted the lowest dose possible, and then have it turned down to see if my labor would continue on its own. Nancy already knew that I wanted the least amount of intervention, so she reassured me that they would only give me enough to keep my contractions coming and not blow the baby out. After 15 minutes, I was bumped up to four, where I stayed for about 2-3 hours during my resting period. 

It was ether the nurse or Dr. Fitzhugh that came in to wake me and see if I had progressed. Sure enough, I was at about 9 cm with a tiny bit of cervix left. They immediately turned off the pitocin and started prepping for the actual birth. Throughout the time I had the epidural in, I never once pushed more pain medication via the clicker thingie. In fact, I didn't know it was even there, no one told me! Because I had rested and some of the medication had worn off, I could feel a lot of vaginal pressure as I was waking up. That got me really excited about starting to push. I could feel my left side and could actually move my leg around, but my right side was completely numb. It was a strange feeling, but I was thrilled that I could feel the baby in the birth canal. I remember telling Nancy that I could feel the baby coming down. I was happy that I had sensation but no pain. My left rib cage did hurt a bit, though, from all the vomiting and dry-heaving prior to the hospital. 

The Birth: 

As the nurses were prepping for delivery, I was unaware that the bag of waters had started bulging outside my body! Dave was saying how neat it looked and I reached down to feel it. It was super smooth and felt like a slippery water balloon. We got the mirror and it indeed looked exactly like a balloon coming out of me - so weird, but so fascinating! Nancy said that Dr. Fitzhugh might not make it to the baby's birth because I could have her any minute. Her head was right behind my bag of waters, and she was moving down pretty fast. Somewhere during this time, I started pushing a bit because I could feel the tightening sensation of my contractions. I was sort of experimenting with the feeling of trying to push without knowing if it was working or not. Dr. Fitzhugh made his appearance and I remember telling him how amazed I was at my baby balloon. I was relieved that he was there, but I knew that Nancy could have helped me birth the baby safely without him. 

(Mother-led pushing): 

After a few minutes of getting the hang of the pushing sensations, my bag of waters slowly leaked open and formed a small little pool right on the bed next to the baby's head. I made a joke about her being a true water baby and having a nice little pool to be born into. In some strange way, it felt symbolic of the water birth I had hoped for at home. We got the mirror out and I began to watch as I slowly inched baby's head out with each contraction. I am still very thankful that Nancy and Dr. Fitzhugh recognized that I was doing a great job pushing on my own. It was a very intuitive experience for me. Nancy picked up on my effective pushing, and when Dr. Fitzhugh got there, he really just sat at the end of the bed in silence. Everyone was barely whispering. I would vocalize that I was having a contraction and Nancy would encourage me through it, telling me to go nice and slow and how I was doing a great job. I could see the baby's head in the mirror, so I had a good idea of how hard or soft I had to push. Dr. Fitzhugh rubbed some lubricating gel around my vaginal opening to help glide the baby's head out and stretch the skin a bit. With each contraction, I pushed at a consistent pace, even holding the push between contractions. I was determined to get her out and not tear! So eventually her head came out and I saw her sweet little face as it turned towards the side. Nancy did encourage me to continue pushing, I think, so I could birth the rest of her body. I pushed as Dr. Fitzhugh supported her body. 

(This is my favorite part of the entire birth!!) Then Nancy told me to reach down and pick up my baby. I said "I can't!" and she said "Yes you can, just reach down!" So I reached down, hooked my hands under her armpits, pushed the rest of her body out, and lifted Evelyn Isabel to my chest at 10:38 AM. It was so unbelievably amazing. I actually birthed my own baby, even in the hospital with an epidural!! Of course, Dr. Fitzhugh did help make sure I didn't drop this super slippery baby, but I was so proud that I was able to bring her to me. I did not tear at all and had no abrasions. Yay! 

Evelyn pinked up and was gently crying as we rubbed her back to loosen up the mucus. She was never suctioned. After a few minutes of bonding, Dave cut the cord (which had stopped pulsing). We attempted to nurse for about a half hour, then the nurses quickly weighed her, swaddled her, and gave her back to me. Dave got to hold her at some point and I was in total awe of what had just happened. We were one happy lil' family!

My grandma, mom, and sister were also present at the birth and I'm glad they were able to be there. My friend Courtney was also there for a good portion of my labor to help and let my sister, Kelly, come in towards the end to hold the camera and witness the birth. Kelly had just driven 8 hours from Georgia, straight to the hospital, and into the birthing room in time to see Evelyn be born. 

I will be forever thankful for my labor support team, especially Dave, Nancy, and Dr. Fitzhugh. I feel so blessed that I was in the company of such wonderful people who supported, trusted, and cared for me during Evelyn's birth. Stay tuned for my reflection post!

~Christine

 

Evelyn is 2 months old!

I am so happy. Our baby girl is 2 months old and doing so wonderfully well. I feel so bad that I have not been able to blog about her lately. Having a newborn is hard work when you're a first-time mom and it's incredibly hard to find a half hour to give everyone updates! Our house is slowly filling up with laundry and general messiness, despite my efforts to clean a little bit each day. There have been things on my to-do list since before March and of course they aren't done yet. I can't even keep Evelyn's baby clothes put away and organized. I have to admit it's generally easier to just grab a sleeper off the clean laundry pile than to go into the closet and look through everything..  Oh but I love her so much and I'd rather have a messy house than a screaming, hungry, bored baby!!


So what's been going on with us? Well not too much, really. I am very proud to say that we have been succeeding at breastfeeding so far. Now that Evelyn is sleeping for about two 4-hour blocks at night, we no longer need to switch shifts and have Dave give her bottles of pumped milk while I sleep. I am so proud that I stayed so determined while we had breastfeeding issues for the first two weeks. It's so wonderful to be able to feed and nourish my baby from my own body; the way nature intended. We have also been using cloth diapers 100% of the time. It is definitely easier than I thought it would be! Now that she's fitting into her GroBaby, now called GroVia, diapers it is so easy to do two loads every other day. Her soaker pads get a rinse and hot wash, then her outer shells get one wash on warm. The shells air dry in about a half hour, and the soakers dry on high in the dryer in about an hour. Ah I love them!! They are so cute on her and she has had NO diaper rash since we did cloth full-time. I don't think we'll actually be able to use disposables at all because we have tried to put her in them and she immediately gets a rash on her legs where the elastic is. I know that seems strange, but she really does start breaking out. We tried Pampers Swaddlers and Huggies Pure & Natural and they both gave her a rash. It would be nice to find something to use in case of an emergency so I might try the Seventh Generation kind. I think it's the chlorine bleach on the elastic that does it.. hrm..


What else.. Well, Evelyn got her first vaccines a few weeks ago. She got the Rotavirus drink and the first DTaP. We are following a delayed vaccine schedule that can be found in the Dr. Sears Vaccine Book. I feel very confident about our decision to vaccinate and do it on a more delayed schedule. I am just not comfortable giving her so many vaccines in a short period of time. I suppose I'm just following my maternal instincts on this one. Although the AAP and CDC say that the normal schedule is perfectly fine, I don't buy it and I'm ok with not buying it. Evie's pediatrician is quite comfortable with Sears' schedule and recommends it if parents are wary of the normal schedule. She rocks! Dr. Annemarie Tull at The Pediatric Center. She has 3 children and nursed them all past one year. She's also a lactation consultant. Our beloved midwife, Nancy, gave us Dr. Tull's name and after our interview with her we were sold. I highly recommend her to parents in the Richmond area.


My body seems to be getting back to normal fairly quick. At 2 months post-partum, I weight about 147, and my pre-pregnancy weight was 152. Nancy says it's because I am producing a lot of breastmilk and my body is basically burning calories all day long. I have been trying to eat more recently, but I am steadily losing about a pound or so every week. I still have the linea nigra on my belly, but my stomach is actually flatter than it was before I was pregnant. I have noticed a slight widening of my hips because many of my pants are looser in the leg, but tighter in the hips. Oh joy. Now I need pants! Since we plan on breastfeeding well past one year, I anticipate keeping weight off. Maybe with the next baby I won't be so quick to bounce back; in fact, I plan on exercising more next time!


I am still thinking of Evelyn's birth often. It took me a few weeks to be OK with how everything played out. I had a tiny bit of regret that I requested the epidural before we even got to the hospital. After talking with Nancy for over an hour last week, I came to the conclusion that it really was necessary for me to get through Evie's birth with my sanity intact. With all the dry-heaving, vomiting, and intense contractions, Evelyn wasn't moving down and my body was becoming overly stressed too fast. As soon as I had the epidural, my cervix opened right up and she descended beautifully to be born only about 5 hours later. I also think that in some ways I deserved to have that easy delivery in the end. After being so sick for so many months, then being sick during labor, it was really nice to gently push her out at my own pace! I feel so good about Evelyn's birth now that I've had time to reflect. She is a beautiful, healthy baby and I couldn't have asked for a better birth team.


I promise after every post that I will do my best to keep everyone updated, and I really do try. Anyone who has had a newborn can probably empathize. I know that we have many friends and family who live too far to visit as much as they would like, so it is important to me to keep this going. I'm sure that as Evelyn grows a bit more and does not need someone to hold her every second, it will be easier to blog. In the meantime, thank you for being so patient (or at least trying to be) with me as I navigate being a new mother. Now for some Evie photo love!!!

~ Christine

Evelyn Isabel is here!

Please welcome our new baby girl.. Evelyn Isabel.

Evelyn was born on March 12, 2010, weighing in at 6 pounds and 14 ounces. She was 19.5 inches long and cute as ever.

My birth story is still coming together and the more I think about Evelyn's birth, the more it changes. I know I need to just write it out and leave it at that, but I have been so full of emotions and physical stress that almost anything besides feeding and cuddling this baby seems impossible. 

For a rough recap, I went into labor thursday afternoon and in just a few hours Dave and I were packed and on a rush to my parents' house to set up for the birth. My labor was hard and I began to throw up and get extremely nauseous with and between each contraction. It was awful. I was in so much pain, could not drink any fluids, and after about 4 hours of laboring at home, Nancy and I decided I needed to go to the hospital for some fluids and pain relief. Double whammie! I was in so much pain and so nauseous that my contractions were not doing anything besides making me miserable. We got to the hospital and within a half hour I received my epidural and could finally relax. A few short hours later, I was 10 cm dilated and she was coming out. 

The actual birth was wonderful for me. I was itching from the epidural, but in comparison to the nausea and vomiting, it was no big deal. As Evelyn was coming down the birth canal, my bag of waters swelled outside of me into this big opaque balloon. It wasn't until her head was actually crowning that it slowly leaked and Dr. Fitzhugh pulled it away for her to be born. I had no one telling me to push, so when my epidural was sort of wearing off on the left side, I was able to feel my contractions enough to slowly inch the baby out. Nancy and Dave were encouraging me, and Nancy kept saying that I was doing a great job stretching. Once her head came out, Dr. Fitzhugh rotated her enough so that I could reach down, grab her underarms, and pull her out of me to my chest. So amazing! I got to birth my own baby and no one handed her to me! In that moment, nothing about my transfer to the hospital or my decision to get an epidural mattered. I knew we had made the right decisions and I was incredibly satisfied with my birth. 

I do wish that my body would have stayed well during labor. I did not think I was going to get sick, but I did and we had formed this back-up plan of transferring months ago. If I hadn't gotten so sick, I would have been able to breathe through my contractions, focus better, and stay hydrated, ultimately birthing at home like we had hoped. I know I am still a homebirthing mother, despite my transfer. I still strongly believe in what I attempted to do, and will go for another homebirth for the next baby. I feel proud that I decided I was not going to torture myself by staying at home, vomiting, dry heaving, and trying to birth a baby. That birth would have been traumatic. 

I am very much in love with this little being. Although we have had a rough, and I mean ROUGH past week, things are slowly coming together. She is nursing so well and has gained back her birth weight plus some in 5 days. We go back to the pediatrician on Monday to weight her again and check her out. Our doctor, Dr. Tull, complimented me and said that I was doing super with breastfeeding and Evelyn was looking so healthy. That made me feel really great since the night before I wept uncontrollably while my nipples were throbbing and bleeding and the baby was screaming... but that is another post.

I am so thankful for all of our friends and family who have been so wonderfully supportive during my difficult pregnancy and birth. I know Evelyn will be loved immensely by so many people and that our family is so blessed.

~Christine

It's our due date!!

No baby yet, but I think it's going to be very soon, possibly tonight. My midwife stripped my membranes (I will explain this when I'm not exhausted and about to sleep) and I have been cramping and contracting since we left. After going to lunch with Dave and my mom, I have started to have more contractions and I kind of feel like this is pre-labor, but only time will tell.. I'd really love to wake up and go into labor tonight, but I don't want to get my hopes up just yet. (Who am I kidding, I'm excited and I really want to have this baby!!)


So please send me good labor vibes and pray that this baby girl is ready to come out.. If she doesn't show up in the next day or so; that's ok.. I just want her to come when she's ready but I'd prefer that she's ready NOW.. hehe.


Patience and calm is my motto for this evening so I'm going to sleep for a while and see how I feel when I wake up.


~Christine

39 weeks, 4 days

So Baby E is still baking! I thought I might go into labor last night because of all the cramping and back pain, but I was probably just sore. The nesting bug hit me yesterday and I think I overdid it. Yesterday, with Dave's help, I..

~ went to a baby consignment sale and picked up 5 sleeping gowns and a carseat headrest (the same exact one we bought at Target for $13, but I paid $4)

~ washed, dried and put away about 3 loads of laundry (including the baby's laundry which looks so adorable and cute and tiny)

~ re-organized the baby closet

~ put away the rest of Baby E's clothes 

~ got E's changing table all set up with the beautiful quilted pillow case that my mom bought, which fit PERFECTLY over the pad

~ packed my bag

~ packed E's suitcase and diaper bag

~ boiled and washed my cotton nursing pads

~ washed the cloth diapers one more time

~ tidied up the bedroom and went to bed at 4AM

I wish my body was used to going to bed at a reasonable hour, but I have given up on figuring out a sleeping schedule at the moment. If I forced myself to get up at 9 or 10 after only 5 hours of sleep, I'm just asking for it if I go into labor that evening. It's not worth it to me, so I'm just sleeping when I can and doing things when I have the energy. I wish I could sew because I'd be making cute flannel cloth wipes in my spare time, or cute burp rags or cute somethings.. 

Yesterday and probably the day before I seriously felt like the baby was going to fall out of me. When we went to see Nancy on Thursday she was really surprised to feel that E had squeezed her way down even further than before. Her head is like, stuck in there and it's not going anywhere but out. It makes me happy to know that she won't turn face-up and I will avoid back labor, praise the Lord! I feel so grateful that my body was designed to birth babies efficiently. I got it from my Gramma, that's for sure. Her babies came out with little pain and hardly any pushing. Apparently when you have a posterior uterus (uterus tilts back), your nerve endings are about half as exposed during childbirth. Nancy says that many women finish labor and will say something along the lines of well that wasn't so bad, where the moms with front facing uteri say that it hurt like a you-know-what. It is truly different for every woman and that is the norm, not the rule. It sure helps me to feel less fearful of childbirth, though!

Now, my intuition could be seriously off, but I really think I will go into labor within the next couple days. When I was about halfway through my pregnancy, I thought that the baby would be born on March 13th, but with all the cramping and strong pressure, I think it'll be sooner. I would love for the baby to be born on my sister's birthday, March 9th. That means I can either go into labor tomorrow or the day after as long as she's born between 12AM and 11:59PM. I'm not holding my breath, I just think it would be neat. We can teach her how to share very early! Hehe.

So my spirits are up, I'm feeling pretty good, and Nancy tells me that she thinks it will be very soon, too. My body is going to do it's thing no matter what, so I'm going to try my best to be OK with going past my due date (March 10th). I might get fussy and anxious in the days beyond the 10th, but I have faith that the baby will be fine and I will be fine. And who cares if I have to push out an extra pound..?

A last note; Dave or I or someone will be using my iPhone to update labor progress on facebook, but *ONLY* if we have some down time and I don't need him to stay with me. When you hear that I'm in labor, please do not text or call.. Without sounding too snarky, I am attempting natural childbirth. I'm not rolling into the hospital raising my hand for an epidural. It's going to be hard, neither of us will have time to personally respond in hopes of not offending you, and we just hope that everyone understands. There will be a message that I'm in labor, and a message that the baby is born, and that's all we can hope for!

Please pray for a safe and efficient labor without complications, and a healthy mom and baby. If I have the time later I will post one last belly picture before it explodes.

~Christine

37 weeks and more..

What a busy 2 weeks!! It feels like we just got back from Katsucon, but we really got back Monday night. Tuesday was spent sleeping and trying to get rid of a headache, Wednesday we met with the pediatrician and ran some errands, and today we had another great appointment with Nancy, our midwife, where we talked at length about my unfortunate test results.. I am GBS positive. 


GBS (group B strep) is a bacteria that can live in the intestines, vagina and rectum. I'm not sure I understand this statistic, but apparently 15-40% (?) of women carry GBS. Nancy says that really about 40% of women carry it, but it is not always detectable throughout their life-span. You could also be more heavily colonized at different times in your life. Either way, it is not a good idea to go untreated during labor, especially for vaginal deliveries because you can pass GBS onto your baby and the side effects can be severe. Whereas carriers of GBS do not have any symptoms, babies can have breathing, intestinal, and kidney problems, as well as develop meningitis. These are not good things! 


So how is GBS treated? In the hospital, women have IV antibiotics during labor that get into the baby's system to protect them from getting it if they're exposed. The risk of transferring GBS to your baby is very rare if you receive these IV antibiotics during labor with enough time to get into your system before the baby is actually born. Women with short labors in the hospital might not get enough dosage of antibiotics, but if their babies are born quickly, there is much less exposure to GBS. 


At home you treat it a little differently. Dave and I do have the option to go to the hospital as a precaution, but we have decided instead to go a very common midwifery route and take oral antibiotics during labor. Because we have an idea of when the baby might be born, I am going to take a 5 day round of antibiotics about 10 days prior to my due date and it will protect the baby for 2 weeks after my last dose. Nancy does not expect me to go late at all, so this plan should work well. If I go into labor before I have taken the original antibiotics (say before Feb 28th), I will switch to another antibiotic during labor that will get into my system faster and protect the baby against GBS as long as I can take it about 4 hours prior to delivery. If I go into labor and have the baby without time to get antibiotics, I would be in the same position as a woman who showed up at the hospital and delivered her baby too quickly to get the antibiotics. Me being at home does not change the time frame in which to receive antibiotics whatsoever.


Some doctors say that oral antibiotics don't work as well as IV antibiotics, but Nancy has seen the exact same results with both - healthy babies who don't get GBS whether their moms take it through IV or orally. After 30 years and ~1000 babies, I trust that Nancy knows what she's talking about. I don't feed into the scare tactics about my baby dying - it's just ridiculous. Only 1 in 200 babies get GBS if it goes completely untreated, too. I'd say my chances of anything happening are so extremely slim with the antibiotics and I feel confident about our decision :)


Now that we have reached the 37 week mark (YAY!) we can safely deliver the baby at home. No hospitals, IVs, people yelling at me to push, nurses telling me I need to stay on the monitor, etc. etc. Baby E is full term and any growth she does from here on out is general growth and will not affect her chances of survival outside the womb. It would be nice to deliver sooner rather than later - less baby to push out - but I am ready to let go of the worries and frustrations about when she's coming and how that will fit into everyone else's plans. She is going to come when she's ready and all I can do is try to stay nice and relaxed, take my fish oil and probiotics, and get the freaking room ready!!!! I desperately need to finish prepping our bedroom for this baby but as the days pass, I am SO exhausted. My list right now consists of:


~ buying the final birth supplies
~ taking them to my mom's house to organize and label it all
~ washing the newborn diapers (boiling and washing a few times to quilt and increase absorbency)
~ hanging up the rods in the extra closet for her clothes, then hanging clothes
~ organizing the rest of her stuff in the closet to be easily accessible
~ moving the bedroom furniture to accommodate the co-sleeper (and possibly move the bookshelf?)
~ acquiring nursing bras and packing enough clothes and such for post-partum at the rents' house
~ packing the baby bag for post-partum at the rents'
~ getting new tubing and shells for the borrowed breastpump
~ making a mini birth plan/guide for the people who will be attending the birth
~ making a playlist of music and birth affirmations for labor
~ buying film and extra tapes for the camcorder (yes, we're filming the birth)
~ making copies of the emergency back-up plan for my parents
~ remembering to take my probiotics and fish oil every single day


That's all I can think of right now... there's a lot more things I need to do unrelated to baby, but they need to get done and I am procrastinating.


I will try to post more often now that we're home and there aren't any conventions for a while. We are having Baby Shower 2.0 this weekend after the storm hit 2 weeks ago and made it pretty much impossible for our friends to get down to Richmond. Let's hope it all goes well and that everyone has a good time!


~Christine

32 1/2 weeks and a bit more..

Only about 7 weeks to go! Technically I will be full term on February 17th; at which point my midwife will attend the birth at home. Technically I could deliver her myself at home before then, but no thank you. If I go into labor before that date I will most certainly be going to the hospital.

After a few yucky-feeling days I’m back. Things are starting to get a little cramped in my belly. Baby E has been head down for about 3-4 weeks now and it seems like she’ll stay put. Her head is slowly expanding my pelvis and I can feel it in a not-so-good way. The sciatica (shooting leg pain) started up this week, too. Holy cow, does that hurt. It seems like at any random time I might feel as though my leg is being stabbed. I hope the labor contractions are more gradual even if they’re more painful.


Baby has been rolling and rolling, protruding her limbs all over my belly as though she’s trying to dig herself out. Looks like a little alien! I have tried to get it on camera, but she knows somehow and stops moving. Many nights this past week Dave has watched her amnio-aerobics, much entertained by how far she sticks her feet out and very empathetic of the pain it causes me.. I love it when he pushes against her foot and says “Ouch, be nice to Mommy!” I am seriously looking forward to handing her off to him if I’m simply exhausted and need a short break. You can’t just detach your womb and reattach it to your partner for a few hours when you’re pregnant. Wouldn’t that be nice?


Dave and I have a little less than 2 weeks to sort of pre-prep for the baby. Beginning Jan 28th the mega 3 week marathon starts. Ohayocon first, baby shower the next weekend, and lastly Katsucon. See our crazy schedule below. Sure, we could wait to get ready until after we get home from Katsucon, but that is too close to my safe date. Most babies born to first-time mamas come a little late, but not all of them. I would rather spend the next two weeks pre-organizing; washing up baby clothes and blankets, prepping the diapers (which involves washing them about 3 times), and getting our bedroom baby-ready. The rest of the things we can’t get done will have to be done by me, hopefully with the help of my mom and grandma, because Dave will be doing art work on most of those between days. Very last minute things can get done from the safe date until I go into labor. Lots to do and I feel like I haven’t really done any of it. Tomorrow is Monday and that’s a good day to begin, I suppose.

I decided I need to get a bit healthier in preparation for the birth and breastfeeding. I’m taking a probiotic supplement for my tummy that also has fiber, as well as a fish oil supplement (from very low-mercury containing fish) for the DHA, Flinstones chewable vitamins, and folic acid. I’m ordering some late-pregnancy herbs for the next few weeks to help strengthen my uterus and get me prepared for labor, too. Yes, it’s a lot of things to swallow, but I simply cannot eat all of the necessary foods to obtain these nutrients. Maybe if I feel better during my next pregnancy I can do a better job if getting nutrients straight from food. This time around I’m not beating myself up considering everything that’s happened.

Following this post is a separate post regarding a topic that is very important to me. I decided to write it separately because it’s too heavy for a happy almost 33 weeks post :) I really should be going to bed, BUT I’m a bit wired from thinking about a bazillion things and writing a mental list of another bazillion things that we have to do.


~Christine

31 weeks!

I feel like my belly exploded! I have no stretch marks yet (knock on wood) but my pregnancy has just been weird so I might get them in a few weeks. I’ve been trying to drink more water to help my skin elasticity as well as spending extra time rubbing it when I put the belly butter on. It’s not the moisturizer that helps stretch marks, it’s a gradual stretching that minimizes the appearance. My grandma and my mom never got them and I’m hoping that I’m in the same boat. It helps that I’m tall, too.

So instead of kicking, the baby has been doing more rolling. She’ll roll her heels or butt across my stomach and sometimes it hurts! I noticed her hiccups for the first time last night and Dave got to feel her, too. It was pretty darn cute. Last night she was head down, but today she’s not. I’m anxious to hear what my midwife says about her positioning. I won’t really worry until we get to 37 weeks but I’d like to be able to feel her more accurately. I can’t tell if I’m touching her head, butt, elbow, or foot. You can see in the photo above about how big she is in my tummy right now. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes. As of this week, the baby is not gaining much more length; instead she’s fattening up in preparation for birth and finishing up the final stages of organ growth. If she were born today she’d have about a 90% chance of survival.


According to my midwife, it will be safe for me to deliver at home by week 37. That’s in 6 weeks! I need to be completely ready with my birth supplies and anything else I will need during labor and birth. My mom is helping me out with the tub mat so I’m not sliding all over the place and she’s also buying the mattress covers and a plastic shower curtain for the floor. When you’re at home, you really don’t know where you’re going to deliver. I’m going to stay in the bedroom/bathroom area just to avoid making a mess and the goal is to have the baby in the water. Well, the real goal is to have a safe labor and a healthy mom & baby, but as far as the whole home birth experience goes, I’d really like to birth her in the water.


To backtrack a bit; we had a nice holiday. I am still disappointed that we did not make it to Maine for Christmas, but ultimately it was the right thing to do with all the sick animals. The kitty is doing much better now and Misha (our guinea pig) is all healed up and her front teeth have grown back. The pigs have had lots of extra hay lately due to their inability to really chew the timothy pellets, so they are quite happy. They’re also getting red peppers (has twice the amount of vitamin C as oranges) and shredded carrots. Happy squeaky pigs make me happy.


We have about 3 1/2 weeks until Ohayocon, which will be followed up the next weekend by our baby shower, then Katsucon a week after that. 3 solid weekends of craziness! It will make the time go much faster, though. Speaking of baby shower, I am getting the invitations done tomorrow with my mom. I decided that doing some facebook group invite was too tacky for my first baby shower ever, although some people think it’s probably a lot easier to go the internet route. Oh well; long live the classy invites!


I came across a website tonight, mentioned by a mothering.com mama. It’s for the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute. They have some great information about breastfeeding; including video clips and PDFs for troubleshooting a plethora of breastfeeding problems. You can also buy the DVD, book, and these really neat laminate wipe-off sheets to use as quick guides. I want to get some of the laminate sheets for myself as a reference and also for my doula business. I agree with so many of the things Dr. Newman and his associates talk about; especially the section on breastfeeding myths. Myths can be detrimental to breastfeeding.. A few that I can think of off the top of my head are that formulas are just as good as breastmilk, if a mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding, and that women with small breasts will have a harder time breastfeeding. There is so much BAD information about breastfeeding and it’s so sad that women follow the advice of people who know very little about breastfeeding. Another interesting concept that I knew little about was the difference between sucking and drinking. Babies can look like they’re getting milk when they’re actually not. I’ve seen this happen with so many of my friends and I never knew how to really help them. After watching videos and reading about it on Dr. Newman’s site, I learned how to tell the difference between the two and how to actually help. This is really going to come in handy for my own breastfeeding experience, as well when I teach other mamas. It was such an AH-HA moment!


It’s very exciting how close we’re getting to baby time! In about 9 weeks I will have a little baby girl in my arms. It’s hunker down time. I don’t want to over-do it, but I really need to make a big list of all the stuff that needs to get done, including things unrelated to baby. I don’t want to end up neglecting certain things because of a baby who needs to feed every 2 hours.. I won’t be a failure if I can’t get everything done in 9 weeks either. The key is doing things one day at a time and not overloading my daily plate with so much that I get nothing done! I will do my best to update every few days from now on. There’s still so much I want to talk about from my topic list, but there will be plenty of time to get it out after the baby’s born, too.


~Christine

Natural home birth videos

Above photo is a still from the “Business of Being Born” video.


I was in one of those birth video moods tonight. Sometimes when I’m feeling down I youtube the latest home birth videos and they always help me feel better in so many ways. Not just from a preparation-standpoint, but they really do fill my heart. Seeing these women cry with joy as they hold their newborn babies to their chest just turns me into mush, and I can’t imagine a greater moment in life. Without videos like these I would not be as confident as I am today about giving birth. I am putting these links up because I feel it is important for more women and families to know that birth can be a calm and beautiful event, without the intervention and chaos we so often see in the movies and on baby shows. As much as I believe in home birth and natural birth, I respect a woman’s right to choose the type of birth she wants. I support interventions like pitocin and epidurals when they are necessary, as my own clients have had to resort to these methods to avoid a cesarean. I also support cesareans when they are absolutely necessary to save the life of a mother and child.


Above all, I believe in the education of women and their partners in order to make informed choices about the birth of their babies. I hope you enjoy these videos as much as I do.


*These videos potentially contain nudity and blood, both of which are normal during birth.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ct8MyqhC2c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZJgt4Zwggw 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmaC8yAEibY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXXtEglAPSU


Please tell me what you think!! I especially love hearing about responses to videos of home and water birth.


~Christine

21 weeks 2 days and home birth

This is a long post. People have a lot of strong feelings about home birth and I think the majority of the American population does not support it, especially obstetricians. Nonetheless, I have done my research. I have been in the natural/home birth community for a while now. I can say that it is truly a beautiful and safe practice, and women who do it will tell you that they’ll never walk into a hospital for a birth if they can help it.


What I’ve been hearing from a lot of people recently, upon discovering that we are planning a home birth, is how “brave” I must be for doing this. I don’t think of myself as brave at all. Rather, I would consider myself brave for going into a hospital. I used to think all babies were born in a hospital and for those women who didn’t have hospitals.. well, they managed somehow but I had no clue. I actually remember thinking that before hospitals, babies had to survive otherwise we would not have a world full of people today. The truth is, most women don’t need hospitals in the world. The female body was made to birth babies, along with processing all the complex hormonal changes that occur when a woman is in labor.


You might read a statistic that says 1 in 4 babies are born via c-section. The most recent statistic, however, is that 1 in 3 babies are born via c-section. 33% of babies. Among the 4 women I know besides myself who are pregnant, the chances are that at least one of us will deliver by c-section. I am definitely terrified of having a c-section. It is major surgery, and although doctors do it all the time, it is not without major consequences. One of my reasons for wanting a home birth is so that I am able to labor in the water, move around, and receive constant support and medical expertise from my midwife, who will be there by my side 100% of the time. This reduces the need for intervention and decreases the chance that I will need a transfer or emergency c-section. If I do have to have a c-section, I’ll probably cry, but I’ll get over it. What’s important is the safety of me and my little girl.


The medical community can easily scare us into thinking that birth is so dangerous. There are so many “what ifs” that you can be easily overwhelmed into thinking that a hospital is the only safe place to have a baby. Well, statistically for healthy mothers and babies, that is plain wrong. If you choose to have your baby in a birth center or at home you are a bad mother and risking your baby’s life, according to some people. Plain and simple, most hospital staff like to control your labor and birth. They like to put you on a clock and get you out, so the next mom can get in. The more babies delivered in one day means more money and more surgeries. Hospitals make more money off c-sections than any other procedure. And due to the fact that families will quickly sue a doctor if there is a bad outcome, too many doctors now believe that the safest way to take care of any problem is to cut the baby out of the mother’s womb. They can’t get sued if they “did everything they could.” What is REALLY in question here is whether or not they did the right things to begin with. Did they start pain medications too early and it stressed the baby out? Did they not allow the mother to move around, so she experienced extreme pain while having to just lay in bed? Gravity makes babies come out. Did they prevent the woman from feeling like she was the one who could make decisions, or did they guilt her into taking medications that would make for a faster labor, not a necessarily safer one? Did they break her water too early and now she is at a high risk of infection? There are so many possible outcomes when you go into the hospital, and I’m trying to avoid unnecessary intervention more than anything.


Yes, you can have a natural, non-intervention birth in the hospital, it is just very difficult unless you have spoken with your doctor at great length. Seeing a midwife in the hospital, which Dave and I already considered, is also a great option. A free-standing birth center detached from a hospital might be a great place for you to have a calm and relaxing birth, as well. It has all the comforts of home with medical technology available, although they have all the supplies that a midwife would bring to a home birth, as well. A birth center might be a better option if your home is far away from a hospital, since many birth centers are a short distance from a hospital.


Yes, there are emergencies. True high risk women should be in a hospital. Sometimes there is a problem and the best thing to do is a c-section. Not all nurses and obstetricians are bad. Something that is so alarming to me is how the higher the cesarean rate goes, the higher the infant mortality goes. That means that the more c-sections we perform, the more babies die between birth and one year. Granted c-sections do not cause infant death directly, there are many problems associated with c-sections that can contribute to poorer infant health, like longer times in the NICU therefore less contact with mom, and lower rate of breastfeeding success due to the difficulty and pain in recovering from a c-section.


I am happy to be giving birth at home. I will be around supportive people, I will have almost complete attention from my midwife who is not only a nurse, but has received special training in birth. She has been doing home birth for over 20 years and has seen just about every scenario. I trust her completely and I know that if there is a problem, she will be able to assess it ahead of time and decide how to proceed. Something that is important to remember is that just because I’m at home does not mean that if there is an emergency I won’t go to the hospital. The hospital is less than 10 minutes away and my midwife or I will decide if I need to transfer.


Midwives don’t show up to a birth with a towel and scissors. My midwife is a Certified Nurse Midwife. She brings with her many of the tools they would use in a hospital, besides an operating room. She has oxygen for me or the baby if we need it. She has IV fluids in case I get dehydrated. She has tools to cut the umbilical cord and knows how to properly stitch tears. She knows how to perform CPR on an infant. She knows how to diagnose hemorrhaging and can give me pitocin to stop it entirely or until an ambulance arrives. Basically, she knows what she’s doing and is prepared for emergencies. The emergencies that could arise without us knowing are real, but occur rarely in healthy women and babies. She has been a midwife for so long that she can catch on early to problems that need attention or would require a transfer to a hospital. She is not just there to catch a baby. A huge part of her life has been dedicated to the safe passage of babies into the world and she would not be doing midwifery today if she wasn’t good at it.


I have an idea of what I’d like my birth to be like. I’m at home. I call my midwife and she comes over. I try to rest in whatever position feels best for me. The midwife checks my blood pressure every half hour or so, maybe takes my temperature, and uses the doppler to check the baby’s heart beat. I am then free to lay down on my own bed, kneel on my own couch, and take a shower or bath without having to detach 4 cords and try to keep my IV site from getting wet like I would in a hospital. My midwife is there the entire time so when I are scared or in pain I can talk to her and she will comfort me, along with Dave and the other women at my birth. I can listen to my own music, adjust the temperature in the room, drink water or juice, eat food. I can wear my own clothes. I can get into the birth tub when my pain is intense and I need the relief. When I am ready to push the baby out, no one is grabbing my legs and counting to 10, making me hold my breath and strain my body. I am in less pain because I’m not on my back, which is the worst position to give birth in. Being on your back requires pushing the baby sort of uphill, whereas being upright greatly assists the baby in moving down and coming out easier. I am weightless in the water and I feel more relaxed. The water helps loosen my birth canal to make an easier path for the baby. When the baby is born I get to bring her immediately to my chest and hold her in a towel, while allowing the placenta to continue delivering oxygen as she is transitioning to the outside world. After cleaning her up and somewhat getting over the shock of having my first baby, we can do what feels natural and relax.


Birth is normal. Women have been doing it since the beginning of human existence. Having your baby at home is not something that is horrible and dangerous, as long as you and your health provider determine that you are at a low risk of complications and someone is there to assist if there is a problem. If we always focus on what can go wrong, women will lose more trust than they have already lost in their body’s ability to birth a baby. I trust my body and my mind to go through this experience. I know just believing in my body and birth won’t magically make my birth happen without any problems, but I at least know that our baby girl is in perfect health so far, and to bring her gently and safely into this would is to birth her at home.


Here are various links to give you more info:


http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/homebirth.html
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/homebirthissues.asp (cites specific research studies)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/technologyinbirth.asp
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/whyhomebirth.asp
http://www.changesurfer.com/Hlth/homebirth.html (a huge list of journal article abstracts listing the method and results)


~Christine