When's Your Due Month?

So often we hear the words, "When's your due date?" Very common is the desire to know when a woman will birth her baby. It is also general knowledge that babies don't always come on their due dates. Although most people know this, they doubtfully know the actual physiology behind when and why a woman begins labor. I read a fantastic short article today on Pushed Birth's website from Jennifer Block. She wrote the fantastic book "Pushed" that candidly explains what is most likely to happen to the average woman when she enters a US hospital to give birth.

I feel like we live in a society where everyone wants to know exactly when things are going to happen because there's not enough time in the day for wasting. The problem is that birth, by no means, is something to be determined exactly. Birth in normal, healthy women and babies is supposed to happen on its own without intervention. But that hardly happens anymore. We talk (and are talked to) about our due date or our friend's due date or whoever's due date. If the baby comes at 38 weeks it's considered early. If the baby comes at 41 weeks it's considered late. The reality, physiologically, is that babies are full term at 37 weeks and are usually born somewhere between 37 and 42 weeks. Someone decided (and I want to know who) that a woman's due date is 40 weeks from the first day of her last period. But that date, by no means, circumstances, common sense or understanding of the human body should determine the readiness of the baby to be born. Sure, the baby has developed and will survive outside the womb. But more importantly, your body and your baby are in sync and they both know when it's time for labor to begin. This is the reason why all babies are not born on exactly the first day of the 40th week!

Many OBs start pushing women after they hit 40 weeks to induce labor. It is true that certain risks increase after 40 weeks, but there are so many variables to consider in the equation of when a baby is overdue and will not be safely born. In the heat of the pregnancy-almost-being-over moment, women succumb to the temptations of these magical baby removers and go ahead with inductions. The facts are that babies who haven't come out at 40 weeks probably AREN'T READY TO COME OUT YET. Am I one of the few people who understands this concept? I ask this jokingly but I also believe that there is a strong correlation between inductions from 40 to 42 weeks and instances of emergency cesareans or other interventions like episiotomies or forceps delivery. In fact, there is numerous data to prove this correlation.

Fortunately for me, I was never force into an induction, even though my due date came and went. I was just so unhappy, emotionally spent, and physically exhausted to go on much longer. I asked my midwife to do one of the least invasive procedures to possibly jumpstart my labor; a membrane sweep. Basically she just took two fingers, inserted them into my cervix, swept the inner layer of my cervix, separating the amniotic membrane from my uterus near the cervical opening. It does not rupture the actual amniotic sac that the baby is in; it merely loosens up that small area enough to possibly signal the uterus to lightly contract. These light contractions can then signal the body to begin labor. If a membrane sweep is done and the woman does not go into labor within 24-48 hours, then her body is probably not ready to have the baby yet and it will still be (many) days away. Arguably membrane sweeping is an induction method since it helps a woman go into labor a short time before she would naturally, but when done properly it only reduces time before labor by a day or so. "So why do it if labor is coming anyway?" I asked that question myself. It almost seemed silly to have Nancy do the sweep, but I needed to do at least one thing to help bring Evelyn out. When Nancy said I had dilated more and there was blood on her glove, she said it was a sure sign that I would be going into labor very soon anyway. Sure enough, our kitten busted her leg on the broken plate and Evelyn decided it was time to be born.

So even though I knew that there was such a big time frame in which Evelyn could be born, I was still a nervous wreck and could not affirm myself enough to wait it out without trying to help her along. I am ok with that, strangely. I certainly didn't bring my 40 week, 2 day pregnant belly into the hospital and demand a c-section, and maybe I feel like what I did was so minor compared to what other women are pressured to do or elect to have done. Coming from an educated, thoughtful place helped me trust my decision. Having a loving, supportive care provider also helped me trust in this path I was taking. For most women, sadly, this is not the case. I ask all my friends, family, and readers to try to have faith in your body to give birth to your baby when the time is right. If you are a healthy, low-risk woman, you do not have to be induced before 42 weeks. It is your choice to allow your baby enough time to grow and wait until the exactly right moment to signal your body for birth. Tell you friends and family your "due month" ...Early March, mid-July, late August/early September. Trust your body to grow and nurture your baby until the time is right :)

I would love to hear thoughts on this topic!

~Christine

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

This is not a very happy post. I have been crying for a few minutes after watching a video about women who struggled with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG). What got me crying was when the doctors said that before IVs and anti-nausea medication, most women with hyperemesis died. I cried even more when they talked about how some women resort to therapeutic abortion because if they didn't end their pregnancies, even with the help of modern medicine, they would die. 

My hyperemesis was bad. Really bad. Looking back I realize that I should have done things differently. Since I had been looking forward to being pregnant and having a baby for so many years, going through this unrelenting nausea and vomiting was a huge slap in the face. All the things I wanted to do, the things that normal pregnant women do, to prepare for a baby never really happened. My home birth never happened because of the HG of labor. And then all the neat things I wanted to do after I had the baby didn't really happen either. All the photos of me smiling during my pregnancy are a thick mask that hid the deep pain I was feeling in so many different ways. 

I refused to surrender completely to the HG, so I forced myself to be thankful at times that I A) could get pregnant in the first place, B) was able to keep this baby growing and healthy week after long week, C) did not miscarry, and D) had the most loving and supportive partner, family, and midwife. I think I said way back when that Dave had to pretty much stop working entirely to take care of me. Instead he had to be there for me 24 hours a day for almost 8 months, then every few days until the birth, during the birth, and a few weeks after. I'm not saying his job was harder than mine, but I know it was probably heartbreaking to see me like that for such a prolonged period of time.

So after thinking about this for months now, it is pretty obvious to me that I have been suffering severe post-partum depression due to the post-traumatic stress of my horrendous pregnancy. I'm not exaggerating one bit. My pregnancy was a cruel and vicious cycle of being nauseated, gagging, vomiting, becoming dehydrated, not eating, losing weight, herniating my esophagus from the vomiting, extreme pain from the esophageal damage, then more nausea and vomiting from that. How in the world could a normal, healthy woman be excited about having a baby when she is experiencing this EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY except when she gets the rare opportunity to sleep for more than four hours at a time? She doesn't. Period. Pregnancy becomes evil, unnatural, mind-altering, conflicting, and traumatizing.

When I think about my pregnancy, I get the chills. When I see other pregnant women, I remember my pregnancy and at times I become instantly nauseated. I was in Target today and I saw about five different pregnant women pushing their carts; some with their partners, some by themselves. All of them were very peaceful-looking and smiled as they looked at the itty bitty newborn clothes and teeny tiny socks. I got so nauseated from thinking about my pregnancy that I almost threw up in the aisle. My mom and I were heading out the door and I glanced over at the bathroom that I frequently threw up in on my rare trips to this Target during my pregnancy. I had to take a deep breath long enough to walk quickly out the door and get some fresh air. It was almost re-traumatizing just thinking about that time again. I guess seeing all the seemingly normal, happy women triggered this intense reaction in me, coupled with being in Target; the only place I went during my pregnancy because they kept their bathrooms and toilets spotless...when you're throwing up a lot, you quickly memorize which places have clean facilities.

The strangest thing to me, disturbing almost, is that I would like to have another baby. I am willing to go through all this again, albeit with earlier medical intervention, so that Evelyn can have a little brother or sister. I do want to adopt at some point, but I feel as though my body is demanding another child before I wave my white flag. I have decided that for a thousand medical and emotional reasons, I would absolutely not become pregnant again if I have HG with the second baby. I have heard it can be more tolerable the next time around because you have an idea of what works and what doesn't. And having some sort of reference can be an excelent coping tool. 

Evelyn is waking up for her first night feeding and her sweet little "mew" cries make my heart melt. Of one thing I am absolutely certain, she was worth it.

39 weeks, 4 days

So Baby E is still baking! I thought I might go into labor last night because of all the cramping and back pain, but I was probably just sore. The nesting bug hit me yesterday and I think I overdid it. Yesterday, with Dave's help, I..

~ went to a baby consignment sale and picked up 5 sleeping gowns and a carseat headrest (the same exact one we bought at Target for $13, but I paid $4)

~ washed, dried and put away about 3 loads of laundry (including the baby's laundry which looks so adorable and cute and tiny)

~ re-organized the baby closet

~ put away the rest of Baby E's clothes 

~ got E's changing table all set up with the beautiful quilted pillow case that my mom bought, which fit PERFECTLY over the pad

~ packed my bag

~ packed E's suitcase and diaper bag

~ boiled and washed my cotton nursing pads

~ washed the cloth diapers one more time

~ tidied up the bedroom and went to bed at 4AM

I wish my body was used to going to bed at a reasonable hour, but I have given up on figuring out a sleeping schedule at the moment. If I forced myself to get up at 9 or 10 after only 5 hours of sleep, I'm just asking for it if I go into labor that evening. It's not worth it to me, so I'm just sleeping when I can and doing things when I have the energy. I wish I could sew because I'd be making cute flannel cloth wipes in my spare time, or cute burp rags or cute somethings.. 

Yesterday and probably the day before I seriously felt like the baby was going to fall out of me. When we went to see Nancy on Thursday she was really surprised to feel that E had squeezed her way down even further than before. Her head is like, stuck in there and it's not going anywhere but out. It makes me happy to know that she won't turn face-up and I will avoid back labor, praise the Lord! I feel so grateful that my body was designed to birth babies efficiently. I got it from my Gramma, that's for sure. Her babies came out with little pain and hardly any pushing. Apparently when you have a posterior uterus (uterus tilts back), your nerve endings are about half as exposed during childbirth. Nancy says that many women finish labor and will say something along the lines of well that wasn't so bad, where the moms with front facing uteri say that it hurt like a you-know-what. It is truly different for every woman and that is the norm, not the rule. It sure helps me to feel less fearful of childbirth, though!

Now, my intuition could be seriously off, but I really think I will go into labor within the next couple days. When I was about halfway through my pregnancy, I thought that the baby would be born on March 13th, but with all the cramping and strong pressure, I think it'll be sooner. I would love for the baby to be born on my sister's birthday, March 9th. That means I can either go into labor tomorrow or the day after as long as she's born between 12AM and 11:59PM. I'm not holding my breath, I just think it would be neat. We can teach her how to share very early! Hehe.

So my spirits are up, I'm feeling pretty good, and Nancy tells me that she thinks it will be very soon, too. My body is going to do it's thing no matter what, so I'm going to try my best to be OK with going past my due date (March 10th). I might get fussy and anxious in the days beyond the 10th, but I have faith that the baby will be fine and I will be fine. And who cares if I have to push out an extra pound..?

A last note; Dave or I or someone will be using my iPhone to update labor progress on facebook, but *ONLY* if we have some down time and I don't need him to stay with me. When you hear that I'm in labor, please do not text or call.. Without sounding too snarky, I am attempting natural childbirth. I'm not rolling into the hospital raising my hand for an epidural. It's going to be hard, neither of us will have time to personally respond in hopes of not offending you, and we just hope that everyone understands. There will be a message that I'm in labor, and a message that the baby is born, and that's all we can hope for!

Please pray for a safe and efficient labor without complications, and a healthy mom and baby. If I have the time later I will post one last belly picture before it explodes.

~Christine

38 weeks and post-traumatic stress

First off - my huge belly!

I realized today that the stress of hyperemesis throughout the majority of my pregnancy has left some major scars. For a while I thought I was doing just fine and that it was all behind me. I was on the mothering.com message boards tonight and I clicked on an area outside my normal due date club boards. It was a more broad forum about pregnancy. Women in all stages of their pregnancies post there and one of them was wondering if her pregnancy test was too faint or if it definitely was a positive. It was obviously positive and I thought "Oh cool! She must be elated!" I quickly became incredibly nauseated and had to turn off my computer for a few minutes. I sat wondering what was up and realized that I only had about 3 weeks of easy pregnancy before the intense nausea and vomiting hit me... and stayed until I was over 30 weeks. 

I read about PTSD (post-trumatic stress disorder) in women who have dealt with hyperemesis. It is a VERY real issue. I don't need to sit in denial, nor should I assume that this is a really dumb idea. It hit me like a ton of bricks.. I am absolutely terrified of becoming pregnant again. I hear about women who are struggling with severe morning sickness and I want to curl up in a ball and cry because the memories of that time haunt me. It was so incredibly horrible that I don't know if I could actually go through it again. Dave can tell you firsthand how awful it was; he was there for me like no one as ever been there for me and made countless sacrifices to take care of me and help me keep my sanity. There were times that abortion crossed my mind. Not in the way that I'd actually consider it, but my heart would break over and over again when I would think about women who actually have to abort or they will die from severe dehydration, or their babies will die because the mothers are so malnourished. 

People think women have morning sickness to protect their babies, but that is only a fraction of the real reason women can get so sick. Your body rejects what it thinks is a parasite, in a nutshell. 

So I am not looking forward to the curious or well-meaning comments about when we'll have another baby. I am absolutely sure that we will love this baby more than we've ever loved another human being, but as soon as I'm healthy and recovered, hello birth control! The thought of having a younger toddler in the 2 year age range while pregnant and puking all day long terrifies me even more. I know a lot of people don't think it's "fair" to space your children too far apart for the sake of the kids being able to be friends and bond.. but I am not going to sacrifice my first child's well being at a very young age due to societal pressures. If my body and mind hasn't had time to heal, I would be setting myself up for a horrible situation in which my daughter will need me physically and emotionally and I will not be there for her. And sure, I might not have hyperemesis for the next pregnancy, but that is not a risk I am willing to take until I am ready, and who knows when that will be.

It's been two days since I started this post and now I'm finally getting around to publishing it! I'm sure I will write more about hyperemesis,  but I really should re-visit the topic after this baby is born and I feel normal again :)

As of Thursday, I am about 2 cm dilated, 70% effaced and at 0 station. Any day now!!!

~Christine

38 weeks

Ok, I'm ready to have this baby... pending the arrival of my cloth diaper detergent (Rockin' Green), ear syringe, and ground cloves for the post-partum herb bath.


Do you know how HARD it is to find an ear syringe and NOT a nasal aspirator??? I went to a bazillion different stores and finally gave up. Ordered it online tonight and I'm having it shipped to my parents' house so I don't have to remember to bring it. The difference is that a nasal aspirator is a lot stronger than an ear syringe. I'm assuming that Nancy wants to be able to use something more gentle on the baby. I will ask her about this on Thursday at our appointment.


There's a lot more I'd like to write about tonight but I'm exhausted. I need to finish putting the laundry away (we got about 50% of it done tonight!) and put up the rods in the closet so I can hang baby's clothes. I'm done with being pregnant, seriously. I still have 2 more weeks until my due date so the plan is to just take it super easy, eat more bland foods (thanks to my hormone surges, I am sick again and having trouble digesting food), and drink lots of water even if I have to pee on the hour. 


I will post a pic after the midwife appointment on Thur when I am actually showered and dressed.. :O


~Christine

37 weeks and more..

What a busy 2 weeks!! It feels like we just got back from Katsucon, but we really got back Monday night. Tuesday was spent sleeping and trying to get rid of a headache, Wednesday we met with the pediatrician and ran some errands, and today we had another great appointment with Nancy, our midwife, where we talked at length about my unfortunate test results.. I am GBS positive. 


GBS (group B strep) is a bacteria that can live in the intestines, vagina and rectum. I'm not sure I understand this statistic, but apparently 15-40% (?) of women carry GBS. Nancy says that really about 40% of women carry it, but it is not always detectable throughout their life-span. You could also be more heavily colonized at different times in your life. Either way, it is not a good idea to go untreated during labor, especially for vaginal deliveries because you can pass GBS onto your baby and the side effects can be severe. Whereas carriers of GBS do not have any symptoms, babies can have breathing, intestinal, and kidney problems, as well as develop meningitis. These are not good things! 


So how is GBS treated? In the hospital, women have IV antibiotics during labor that get into the baby's system to protect them from getting it if they're exposed. The risk of transferring GBS to your baby is very rare if you receive these IV antibiotics during labor with enough time to get into your system before the baby is actually born. Women with short labors in the hospital might not get enough dosage of antibiotics, but if their babies are born quickly, there is much less exposure to GBS. 


At home you treat it a little differently. Dave and I do have the option to go to the hospital as a precaution, but we have decided instead to go a very common midwifery route and take oral antibiotics during labor. Because we have an idea of when the baby might be born, I am going to take a 5 day round of antibiotics about 10 days prior to my due date and it will protect the baby for 2 weeks after my last dose. Nancy does not expect me to go late at all, so this plan should work well. If I go into labor before I have taken the original antibiotics (say before Feb 28th), I will switch to another antibiotic during labor that will get into my system faster and protect the baby against GBS as long as I can take it about 4 hours prior to delivery. If I go into labor and have the baby without time to get antibiotics, I would be in the same position as a woman who showed up at the hospital and delivered her baby too quickly to get the antibiotics. Me being at home does not change the time frame in which to receive antibiotics whatsoever.


Some doctors say that oral antibiotics don't work as well as IV antibiotics, but Nancy has seen the exact same results with both - healthy babies who don't get GBS whether their moms take it through IV or orally. After 30 years and ~1000 babies, I trust that Nancy knows what she's talking about. I don't feed into the scare tactics about my baby dying - it's just ridiculous. Only 1 in 200 babies get GBS if it goes completely untreated, too. I'd say my chances of anything happening are so extremely slim with the antibiotics and I feel confident about our decision :)


Now that we have reached the 37 week mark (YAY!) we can safely deliver the baby at home. No hospitals, IVs, people yelling at me to push, nurses telling me I need to stay on the monitor, etc. etc. Baby E is full term and any growth she does from here on out is general growth and will not affect her chances of survival outside the womb. It would be nice to deliver sooner rather than later - less baby to push out - but I am ready to let go of the worries and frustrations about when she's coming and how that will fit into everyone else's plans. She is going to come when she's ready and all I can do is try to stay nice and relaxed, take my fish oil and probiotics, and get the freaking room ready!!!! I desperately need to finish prepping our bedroom for this baby but as the days pass, I am SO exhausted. My list right now consists of:


~ buying the final birth supplies
~ taking them to my mom's house to organize and label it all
~ washing the newborn diapers (boiling and washing a few times to quilt and increase absorbency)
~ hanging up the rods in the extra closet for her clothes, then hanging clothes
~ organizing the rest of her stuff in the closet to be easily accessible
~ moving the bedroom furniture to accommodate the co-sleeper (and possibly move the bookshelf?)
~ acquiring nursing bras and packing enough clothes and such for post-partum at the rents' house
~ packing the baby bag for post-partum at the rents'
~ getting new tubing and shells for the borrowed breastpump
~ making a mini birth plan/guide for the people who will be attending the birth
~ making a playlist of music and birth affirmations for labor
~ buying film and extra tapes for the camcorder (yes, we're filming the birth)
~ making copies of the emergency back-up plan for my parents
~ remembering to take my probiotics and fish oil every single day


That's all I can think of right now... there's a lot more things I need to do unrelated to baby, but they need to get done and I am procrastinating.


I will try to post more often now that we're home and there aren't any conventions for a while. We are having Baby Shower 2.0 this weekend after the storm hit 2 weeks ago and made it pretty much impossible for our friends to get down to Richmond. Let's hope it all goes well and that everyone has a good time!


~Christine

My thoughts on circumcision

One of the things that’s been on my mind a lot lately is how thankful I am to have a partner who supports me. Before we knew we were having a girl, I told Dave flat out that I would not allow our baby to be circumcised if it was a boy. He was curious in the beginning about why I would be so demanding about the subject, rather than talk out the pros and cons with him. Dave, up until that point, had not considered it much. He was neither for or against it, which is probably why he was hurt that I had made a decision without talking it over. When we did talk about it, he and I never argued and we never had “the talk” about how Dave wanted his son to look like him, therefore we needed to circumcise him. And thank you, God, for sending me such a sweet man who understood within minutes why I would not subject our baby to such a procedure.


Yes, I am against things like any other person. I don’t like it when I hear of women who don’t attempt to breastfeed because they think it’s gross, yet they are perfectly capable. I think to myself, well that’s a shame because you’re missing out on an incredible experience for you and your baby, not to mention the endless health benefits for you both. I wish they would at least try. I don’t like it when I hear about parents who leave their babies in their cribs at night to cry-it-out for long periods of time. Studies have proven this to be extremely stressful for babies, and the stress hormone they release (cortisol) directly impedes brain development, as well as fostering mistrust between the baby and their caregiver..


It also breaks my heart to see a baby boy circumcised after overwhelming evidence shows there is absolutely NO benefit for it, besides the religious reasons that are being used less and less frequently nowadays. Yes, Jewish families and other families whose religion says they should circumcise still decide not to. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics states that although there are potential health benefits to circumcision, they are not substantial, therefore the AAP does not recommend circumcision in newborn males. They have been saying this for 10 years, and plenty of other health organizations have been saying it for even longer. The research that says that there are potential health benefits to circumcision are being disproven by other research that takes into account proper care of an intact penis, which is basically LEAVE IT ALONE. Too many doctors, nurses and health professionals try to pull back the foreskin on uncircumcised infants, causing pain and increased risk of infection, plus many other issues that are used to support the argument that leaving your son intact is either unsafe, unhygienic, or just plain gross. Much like the co-sleeping argument, you really have to consider what makes sense as a parent. If could ask your son if they’d like to be circumcised, most of them would probably say no. If you were to ask them, well don’t you want to look like the other boys, they would say, well not if half of them have penises just like mine. If you were to ask them, well don’t you want to look like your Daddy, they would probably say, ew, why do I want to see Daddy’s pee-pee? This issue should be more about the right of the child than what the parents think is normal. We do not cut off parts of the female genitalia, so why do we justify doing it to boys? Even Dave, as a circumcised grown man has zero desire to have his son circumcised for the sake of looking like him. In light of the research, Dave supports the decision to not circumcise even more. Why would you want to compare penises with your son, anyway? Seriously, it is far more easy to say to your son if he’s curious, “when Daddy was a baby, doctors thought that’s what you were supposed to do and now doctors found out that you don’t need to anymore.” I might even begin with using an example of something that they can relate to like, “well doctors used to give babies a lot more shots so they didn’t get sick, and now they don’t give as many shots because they can put the medicines together and use less needles. It doesn’t hurt the babies as much just like how we don’t need to change the way your penis/pee-pee looks because it hurts when doctors do that.” Completely understandable for a child who is old enough to be curious, and you’re not even lying to them. If my son asks me someday about it when they get older, I’ll tell them that they can save up their own money and have it done if they really want it that badly.


One of the most thoughtful things I have ever heard was from a postpartum nurse who assisted with circumcisions. She said that when you witness a birth and you see that outpouring of love from a mother, that connection that the mother and father make with their new baby, you are overwhelmed with love, too. Then to see that baby wheeled away from it’s mother, taken into a room where they’re strapped down, crying and uncomfortable, while having a part of their body cut off with local anesthetic, is just about the saddest thing. Completely opposite from what you saw the day before. Within hours of being brought into the world into the loving arms of your mother, one of your first experiences in life is to have your foreskin cut off. Then you are wheeled back in to your mother, either asleep from the shock of the procedure or screaming in pain. There’s just something wrong about that.


I apologize for anyone reading this who has been circumcised, has chosen to circumcise their infant sons, or who is planning on circumcising their son. My intention is not to offend, my intention is to let out feelings that I have and provide evidence against the procedure. I think it is wrong and I will never in my life consent to it for my own child. If parents were required to watch a video of a boy being circumcised before consenting to the procedure, I bet that over 50% of them would choose to not have it done. Just like women of childbearing age must watch a video on abortion before they undergo the procedure, parents should have to watch a video about circumcision. The statistics that circumcision helps prevent HIV and other STDs has NOT been substantially proven, yet as a country we use that “fact” to justify such a procedure. What is actual fact is that nothing has been proven. What we DO know is that it obviously hurts the baby. Even if they are “numb” during the procedure, it hurts for days afterwards. So why do we keep doing it? Why do babies scream when the procedure is being done? Why do we listen to the babies scream every time they pee because the urine is burning their circumcision site? More and more pediatricians and doctors are stepping up to say that they will not do the procedure because it is unnecessary, and causes pain and discomfort for the infant. IN FACT, only about 50% of boys in the US are circumcised today. As more data emerges, circumcision rates are actually dropping. So the excuse that you want your son to look like all the other boys is not really a good one anymore.


Like I have tried to emphasize, I’m new at talking about things like this in public. Especially the internet where any one of my friends or family can read what I’m saying. This is a serious topic that offends many people, whether they are for or against routine infant circumcision. My grandma used to say that it wasn’t a good idea to talk about religion or politics with people because you’d probably offend them. Maybe we have so many issues because we don’t talk about them with each other. As a woman and soon-to-be mother, I will never approach a woman and tell her that is was wrong for her to have her baby circumcised. I feel in my heart that it is wrong, but I will not force my belief on any other person. Plenty of families believe that NOT circumcising your baby boy is wrong and the amount of pain and distress is completely worth the potential risks of not doing it. But I am not that kind of mama who always believes the hype or even what a majority of people think. Dave isn’t really like that either. Many of our choices have come from the heart, then we talk about them (ahem, besides this issue at first), read about them, talk to other people about them, and importantly, we try to find evidence as to whether or not we should do something. Talking to one pro-circ doctor will probably convince you to go ahead with the procedure. But if you talk to 2 or 3 doctors and make a decision after reading the current research on the topic, you’re much less likely to feel awful about your decision later on, no matter which way you go. The informed parent is a more confident parent. That is one of my biggest personal goals. Sure, research is changing every day, which is why we also rely on our instincts as people and parents to do what we feel is right for our child in the face of opposition.


Here are a few links to the research that I talk about in this post. I’m not just making it up, I swear! I am also including links to videos of infant circumcision. If you are considering circumcising your baby, it is important for you to know about the procedure and make an educated decision based on your intuition, as well as the facts. If it makes you uncomfortable to click on the video links, maybe that’s telling you something.


Links:
http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:p-hH_JDIjV8J:www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/+circumcision+rates+2006&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&amp Scroll down to section that says “Circumcision Incidence Rate” to see the most recent (2006) rates for all regions, which is the total US rate.
http://www.circumcision.org
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;103/3/686
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/are-you-fully-informed.html (A doctor's public blog with over 100 circumcision links in the post)


Videos: 
And yes, topical anesthetic is used for both babies, but that’s really the minimum that is considered ok. Using no pain medication at all is absolutely cruel.
http://fr.video.yahoo.com/watch/352478/2210721
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5933355699286047639#


~Christine

32 1/2 weeks and a bit more..

Only about 7 weeks to go! Technically I will be full term on February 17th; at which point my midwife will attend the birth at home. Technically I could deliver her myself at home before then, but no thank you. If I go into labor before that date I will most certainly be going to the hospital.

After a few yucky-feeling days I’m back. Things are starting to get a little cramped in my belly. Baby E has been head down for about 3-4 weeks now and it seems like she’ll stay put. Her head is slowly expanding my pelvis and I can feel it in a not-so-good way. The sciatica (shooting leg pain) started up this week, too. Holy cow, does that hurt. It seems like at any random time I might feel as though my leg is being stabbed. I hope the labor contractions are more gradual even if they’re more painful.


Baby has been rolling and rolling, protruding her limbs all over my belly as though she’s trying to dig herself out. Looks like a little alien! I have tried to get it on camera, but she knows somehow and stops moving. Many nights this past week Dave has watched her amnio-aerobics, much entertained by how far she sticks her feet out and very empathetic of the pain it causes me.. I love it when he pushes against her foot and says “Ouch, be nice to Mommy!” I am seriously looking forward to handing her off to him if I’m simply exhausted and need a short break. You can’t just detach your womb and reattach it to your partner for a few hours when you’re pregnant. Wouldn’t that be nice?


Dave and I have a little less than 2 weeks to sort of pre-prep for the baby. Beginning Jan 28th the mega 3 week marathon starts. Ohayocon first, baby shower the next weekend, and lastly Katsucon. See our crazy schedule below. Sure, we could wait to get ready until after we get home from Katsucon, but that is too close to my safe date. Most babies born to first-time mamas come a little late, but not all of them. I would rather spend the next two weeks pre-organizing; washing up baby clothes and blankets, prepping the diapers (which involves washing them about 3 times), and getting our bedroom baby-ready. The rest of the things we can’t get done will have to be done by me, hopefully with the help of my mom and grandma, because Dave will be doing art work on most of those between days. Very last minute things can get done from the safe date until I go into labor. Lots to do and I feel like I haven’t really done any of it. Tomorrow is Monday and that’s a good day to begin, I suppose.

I decided I need to get a bit healthier in preparation for the birth and breastfeeding. I’m taking a probiotic supplement for my tummy that also has fiber, as well as a fish oil supplement (from very low-mercury containing fish) for the DHA, Flinstones chewable vitamins, and folic acid. I’m ordering some late-pregnancy herbs for the next few weeks to help strengthen my uterus and get me prepared for labor, too. Yes, it’s a lot of things to swallow, but I simply cannot eat all of the necessary foods to obtain these nutrients. Maybe if I feel better during my next pregnancy I can do a better job if getting nutrients straight from food. This time around I’m not beating myself up considering everything that’s happened.

Following this post is a separate post regarding a topic that is very important to me. I decided to write it separately because it’s too heavy for a happy almost 33 weeks post :) I really should be going to bed, BUT I’m a bit wired from thinking about a bazillion things and writing a mental list of another bazillion things that we have to do.


~Christine

31 weeks!

I feel like my belly exploded! I have no stretch marks yet (knock on wood) but my pregnancy has just been weird so I might get them in a few weeks. I’ve been trying to drink more water to help my skin elasticity as well as spending extra time rubbing it when I put the belly butter on. It’s not the moisturizer that helps stretch marks, it’s a gradual stretching that minimizes the appearance. My grandma and my mom never got them and I’m hoping that I’m in the same boat. It helps that I’m tall, too.

So instead of kicking, the baby has been doing more rolling. She’ll roll her heels or butt across my stomach and sometimes it hurts! I noticed her hiccups for the first time last night and Dave got to feel her, too. It was pretty darn cute. Last night she was head down, but today she’s not. I’m anxious to hear what my midwife says about her positioning. I won’t really worry until we get to 37 weeks but I’d like to be able to feel her more accurately. I can’t tell if I’m touching her head, butt, elbow, or foot. You can see in the photo above about how big she is in my tummy right now. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes. As of this week, the baby is not gaining much more length; instead she’s fattening up in preparation for birth and finishing up the final stages of organ growth. If she were born today she’d have about a 90% chance of survival.


According to my midwife, it will be safe for me to deliver at home by week 37. That’s in 6 weeks! I need to be completely ready with my birth supplies and anything else I will need during labor and birth. My mom is helping me out with the tub mat so I’m not sliding all over the place and she’s also buying the mattress covers and a plastic shower curtain for the floor. When you’re at home, you really don’t know where you’re going to deliver. I’m going to stay in the bedroom/bathroom area just to avoid making a mess and the goal is to have the baby in the water. Well, the real goal is to have a safe labor and a healthy mom & baby, but as far as the whole home birth experience goes, I’d really like to birth her in the water.


To backtrack a bit; we had a nice holiday. I am still disappointed that we did not make it to Maine for Christmas, but ultimately it was the right thing to do with all the sick animals. The kitty is doing much better now and Misha (our guinea pig) is all healed up and her front teeth have grown back. The pigs have had lots of extra hay lately due to their inability to really chew the timothy pellets, so they are quite happy. They’re also getting red peppers (has twice the amount of vitamin C as oranges) and shredded carrots. Happy squeaky pigs make me happy.


We have about 3 1/2 weeks until Ohayocon, which will be followed up the next weekend by our baby shower, then Katsucon a week after that. 3 solid weekends of craziness! It will make the time go much faster, though. Speaking of baby shower, I am getting the invitations done tomorrow with my mom. I decided that doing some facebook group invite was too tacky for my first baby shower ever, although some people think it’s probably a lot easier to go the internet route. Oh well; long live the classy invites!


I came across a website tonight, mentioned by a mothering.com mama. It’s for the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute. They have some great information about breastfeeding; including video clips and PDFs for troubleshooting a plethora of breastfeeding problems. You can also buy the DVD, book, and these really neat laminate wipe-off sheets to use as quick guides. I want to get some of the laminate sheets for myself as a reference and also for my doula business. I agree with so many of the things Dr. Newman and his associates talk about; especially the section on breastfeeding myths. Myths can be detrimental to breastfeeding.. A few that I can think of off the top of my head are that formulas are just as good as breastmilk, if a mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding, and that women with small breasts will have a harder time breastfeeding. There is so much BAD information about breastfeeding and it’s so sad that women follow the advice of people who know very little about breastfeeding. Another interesting concept that I knew little about was the difference between sucking and drinking. Babies can look like they’re getting milk when they’re actually not. I’ve seen this happen with so many of my friends and I never knew how to really help them. After watching videos and reading about it on Dr. Newman’s site, I learned how to tell the difference between the two and how to actually help. This is really going to come in handy for my own breastfeeding experience, as well when I teach other mamas. It was such an AH-HA moment!


It’s very exciting how close we’re getting to baby time! In about 9 weeks I will have a little baby girl in my arms. It’s hunker down time. I don’t want to over-do it, but I really need to make a big list of all the stuff that needs to get done, including things unrelated to baby. I don’t want to end up neglecting certain things because of a baby who needs to feed every 2 hours.. I won’t be a failure if I can’t get everything done in 9 weeks either. The key is doing things one day at a time and not overloading my daily plate with so much that I get nothing done! I will do my best to update every few days from now on. There’s still so much I want to talk about from my topic list, but there will be plenty of time to get it out after the baby’s born, too.


~Christine

29 weeks!

Well it’s Christmas Eve! I wondered months ago if I would still be sick and how big my belly would be. Now that it’s actually here, it’s a strange feeling.. Where’d the time go? It seems like my pregnancy is going by faster now that I’m not as sick and there’s so much to do!

We sadly did not make it to Maine this Christmas like we had planned. There were so many things that came up last minute, including a snowstorm. For those of you who live in snowy weather, your area is probably well equipped to deal with snowstorms. Richmond is not, and I can’t exactly blame the city for being unprepared. I can be upset at the terrible snow plowers who attempted to plow our parking lot and ended up making 3ft snow banks behind all the cars. I broke 3 different pieces of the underside of my car making one trip. I get that you can’t always be prepared, but I sort of feel like they could have at least done the job correctly. Since the snow hit from Richmond all the way up to our destination, we would have had to deal with snow in many more areas besides Richmond, many of which are equally unprepared for massive storms like the one we just had. We also had sick animals.. which is a long story.. but part of why we stayed home was to take care of them.


So this holiday is kind of weird because we won’t be celebrating Christmas tomorrow. Since my sister is in Iowa until Monday, we are holding off on celebrating until Tuesday. Originally we would be in Maine having Christmas with Dave’s family, then coming home to do it all over again. I was pretty excited about that. I know it shouldn’t matter when we celebrate or what we do, etc. etc, but I had made little time markers for my pregnancy to help me feel better about getting to a certain point. We are planning on going up in a couple weeks as soon as we sort a few things out. I’m sure everything will work out fine and we’ll have a lovely Christmas celebration with my family! I’m just a tad hormonal.. just a tad.


It’s time for me to run out for a last minute errand. We’re going over to my parent’s house tonight for dinner and I’m excited to meet our friends Harry and Ashley there. Ashley is a few weeks behind me in her pregnancy and we haven’t had much time to hang out and spend time together since they live in Northern Va. Good food, family and friends. Now all we need is a trip to see Deacon Dave’s Christmas Lights..


~Christine

Pregnancy being "normal"

Two finals this week and I will be 99% done with school. I’m relieved to be almost done, and at the same time disappointed that I couldn’t finish my research class. I am very lucky to have such supportive professors who have allowed me to miss almost the entire semester and study from home. As often as I tried to get to class, usually I was either absolutely exhausted from not sleeping, or nauseous, which comes and goes throughout the day now. I have plenty of normal-feeling moments, like right now, but in about an hour or so I might feel like tossing my cookies. I just never know and the sheer anxiety of not knowing when the nausea is going to take over my body makes me not want to leave the house very often. So the plan for school is to write my research paper (which is not even that long) over the summer. I would do it over the spring, but I’m sure as soon as the baby comes, I won’t want to do anything and probably won’t have the energy!!


We went to Laurel this past weekend and visited some wonderful friends who are expecting a baby in April. It was really great to finally get together, but I became really nauseous on the way up there after feeling fine all day. I was just not in good spirits that night and I felt so bad for not being a fun guest. Then the next day Dave’s allergies flared up and he was miserable. We did get a chance to go to the mall in Columbia with Carrie and it was nice to chit chat and just hang out. It was there that I confirmed my suspicion that I definitely need a support belt for my belly. If I’m on my feet for more than 15 minutes or so my belly starts cramping near the top. I tried my bella band today but it did nothing! If anything it made me feel nauseous, but then again, anything putting pressure on my tummy makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, I’m glad we finally made it up to Laurel and I hope we can go again soon and have it work out so I’m not sick and Dave isn’t feeling congested and gross.


I started having this really intense cramping near the top of my belly on the right side, which prompted me to call my midwife. It’s only happened 3 times but it drove me to tears because it was so painful. I have had round ligament pain that is sharp, but nothing like this before. After speaking with Nancy for a bit, we both thought that it was round ligament pain again, just more severe because my tummy is really stretching now. Within the past 3 weeks I have grown quite a bit and the location of the pain is right where my round ligament connects to my uterus. Since there was really nothing I could do about it, Nancy and I talked for a bit about trying to see this pregnancy as being “normal.” I completely understood what she meant in an instant. As much as I know that many of my aches and pains are normal, what I experienced with the hyperemesis still haunts me. Sure I’m not vomiting all the time, but the nausea is still there for portions of the day. As soon as the nausea started to subside, I began cramping and having trouble standing up for normal periods of time. Then I got sciatica on my right side, which has recently switched to the left side. I am more exhausted now than I was for the first 4 months of pregnancy (which is when most women experience the fatigue) and the insomnia has been going full force, so I don’t really get to decide when I sleep. I have to eat every 3 hours or so, otherwise I get really irritable and sick to my stomach, and upon waking I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.


I can say for sure that I do not like being pregnant at all. I love this little baby so much, that’s for sure, but the being pregnant part has been so difficult. I love feeling her move, but she kicks hard and fast and it wakes me up sometimes, and then I have to make food at 5 am because I’m starving and nauseous from being asleep for more than 3 hours with no food. Nancy wants me to see most of my symptoms as being normal, but from what I hear, read, and see, most women don’t get every single one of these symptoms all occurring at the same time for their entire pregnancy. If they do, I admire them tremendously for putting a smile on their face and making the best of it. I wish I could do it, and maybe the next time around I will know what to expect and can prepare. For now, I just feel like a ball of sickness and emotion, which is apparently normal during pregnancy. The normal pregnancy scale must be a pretty large on and I just happen to be on the more uncomfortable side, I suppose.


I need to get through this week and I will feel a lot better about the upcoming holidays and all that we need to do. I’m excited about going to Maine and having time to relax, enjoy family, and see the beautiful snow!


~Christine

Thoughts today

I feel bad for not posting in a while.. We had two conventions back to back and I have been fighting a cold/virus/whatever for about a week. We unfortunately got very little sleep at this past convention and I’m fairly certain my body was completely burned out when we got home on Monday. We have been sleeping a little extra every night trying to get back to normal, but Dave has come down with a cold and I miraculously haven’t contracted it.. yet.. It’s probably due to the 10+ hours of sleep and I won’t complain.


I know I need to post a belly photo, and I will do my best to get it done later today. I’ll just update it here. As of today I’m 25 weeks and 3 days. It’s weird to think that in about 4 weeks I will hit the 30 week mark. It’s really really strange to think about how fast time is going when I don’t pay attention to my dates for a while. In fact, in less than 3 weeks I’ll be in the 3rd trimester. I have almost fully accepted that I will not feel normal until this baby is actually born. I kept hoping and hoping that the morning sickness would subside especially after the hyperemesis went away, but it feels like the nausea is a permanent pregnancy symptom. If it goes away, great, but I really don’t think it will. Even on Thanksgiving I barely ate and then felt sick afterwards.


There are still so many things I want to talk about but my energy is just gone right now. Finals are coming up very soon and then we’ll be off to Maine for Christmas. I guess I’m a little nervous about going to Maine... not because I don’t think we’ll have a wonderful time, but because I’m still feeling under the weather and I know Dave is going to want to see everyone. This also means that I have to do the majority of the driving because he can’t see well at night. We were originally going to fly, but coming into the Portland airport is too expensive, and taking the train is almost just as much. Bussing would be too unreliable and I would be extremely uncomfortable. This leaves us with the Jetta once again.. our trusty little VW that plows through the snow like a 4WD thanks to our fancy all-weather tires. I’m definitely excited about going up to Maine again to see Dave’s family and friends, but I just hope that I don’t feel very sick this time.


After we get home from Maine, my sister is coming down from Iowa and we’re doing our own little Christmas at my parents’ house. Even though my family is out here and we’re still celebrating together, it’s so strange to not be back in California this time of year. Every holiday since I moved has been a little off.. I miss Thanksgiving dinners crammed into my aunt Diane’s dining room and Christmas Eve at Deacon Dave’s with the massive light display. My aunt and uncle had their first Thanksgiving in 30 years without everyone gathered around their table and that broke my heart a little. I wonder if I’ll ever get over not being back home. Maybe watching our kids grow up around my parents’ dinner table will make it feel more like home.. And soon enough we’ll be taking the kids out to California so they can see the lights and walk Union Square at Christmas time. It’s not like these places are going away, they’re just far away and I should think of it like that more often. Well, Dave seems to think that California is eventually going to crack off into the ocean one of these days.... sigh.


~Christine

List of topics I want to discuss eventually

I am making a list to keep track of all the things I would like to discuss and share with you all.


Although I am still learning about life as a partner, mother, and woman, I read many things this evening that made me thankful to have the knowledge I already have. I am beyond upset about some parenting practices in the US. I shake my head when I see parents doing certain things that seem to defy natural human instincts and baby’s needs all in the name of some book. Sometimes I think even the most mature and successful couples have unrealistic views about parenting and imagine their life with a baby in a way that promotes what is convenient for them, despite what their baby needs. I will try not to fly off the handle, here, so before going on a huge rant about all these topics (which I am somewhat resisting the urge to do) I am just going to write my list, call it a night, and maybe vent to Dave about how happy and lucky I am to have him :)


Attachment parenting
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Cesareans
Circumcision (no, thanks)
Cloth diapering - posted about diaper registry and why we are doing cloth
Co-sleeping/bed-sharing
Cry-it-out method/”Babywise” (no, thanks)
Midwifery/Doulas in childbirth
Evidence-based research
Genderizing children
Home/natural/water birth
Nursing in public
Vaccinations


..those are the only ones I can think of right now. If you see something that you’d like me to talk about in particular or are curious about a topic not mentioned, please email or comment and I will do my best to get to it.


~Christine

23 weeks 1 day

We had a great time at Nekocon. Although I slept for many hours each day, Dave managed the table very well and we spent plenty of time with our friends late at night. Most nights I stayed up later than Dave because I napped during the day. There were a few bouts of nausea but nothing too bad. We will be leaving for Anime USA in a week and we’re both really looking forward to this convention, too.


As the con season is starting, I am very thankful that I am feeling better. I missed my test today, however, because my tummy decided it wasn’t going to keep down food this morning. I hadn’t been sick for about a week so a little throw up didn’t bother me too much. I have had a small headache for about two days now and it’s driving me crazy. I’m quite hungry so I’m eating a lot and trying to drink water, but the exhaustion is hitting me hard this week. It’s difficult to stay awake all day when you feel like you’re about to enter into a coma. If I sleep during the day then I can’t sleep at night, but if I don’t sleep when I’m really tired I get nauseated. It’s truly a no-win situation.


As you can see, my belly seems to have stopped growing for right now. I feel like I look smaller than I did two weeks ago. I anticipate, though, that over the next few weeks I am going to grow A LOT. Baby E is going to double her weight this month and continue to grow larger at a steadier pace. Many people have already commented that I don’t look very pregnant at all yet. I attribute this to my height and posterior uterus. Yes, posterior uterus. My uterus tilts upward instead of towards the front, so this girlie is definitely going to max out her height space before ballooning out.

On a related note, my midwife, Nancy, said many encouraging things to me at our appointment today. Despite the fact that 30% of her first time moms transfer to the hospital for various reasons, and despite the fact that I had horrible hyperemesis, I have many physical traits that will contribute to an easier labor. She said that since I’m taller the baby won’t have as much trouble sliding out as with shorter women, and that my posterior uterus makes an easier angle for the baby to come out. I also have a posterior placenta, meaning that it’s connected to the backside of my uterus. Babies do not like to lay on their placentas during the birthing process so there’s a much smaller chance that I will experience back-labor! All of these things will hopefully make for an easier first-time birth and I am happy to hear it. The sweetest thing that Nancy said, on top of the physical aspects, was that if I could get through all the hyperemesis and stomach problems for many months, labor wouldn’t be hardly as difficult. That just made me feel so much better in general!


One of my clients recently gave birth so I have been thinking about labor a lot over the past week. I have many hopes for my birth, but I think people are worried that I’m so hardcore about it that I will feel like a failure if I can’t accomplish this drug-free home birth. My hopes are high enough to maintain positive feelings about my birth and to keep unrealistic fears at a minimum. How I birth my baby does not define me. If I don’t get my home birth, I will not become depressed nor feel like a bad mother or incompetent woman. But, as realistic as I’m trying to be, I am going to do my best to cope with labor at home in the best way I can. I am not going to just give up if I feel pain. Hopefully pain will equal progress during my labor and that will keep me going!


Well Baby E has been kicking me more than ever. She likes to kick my bladder and any other spot where there’s pressure on her little space. She kicks me when I’m still and trying to sleep, and when I’m seriously needing to use the bathroom. I suppose it’s cute, but I’m thinking that as she grows and becomes stronger I might have a few bruised ribs. As long as she comes out after 9 months I can deal with it :) At the midwife appointment today she was kicking and squirming away from the doppler once again. Nancy was able to get her pretty quickly, but she was definitely trying to scoot away from it. She does the same thing to my hands when I rub my belly.


Over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to re-organize and take care of many neglected things since becoming sick and pregnant. I need to make a real list of things we’ll need for baby right after she’s born and leave the rest to her individual needs. I also need to start planning the baby shower with my mom and get my medical bills in order. I suppose the shower stuff can wait, but the medical stuff needs to be taken care of asap. It took me forever to get covered for insurance and there’s a lot of paperwork to be done and phone calls to make. I can’t keep it all straight sometimes.


~Christine

21 weeks 2 days and home birth

This is a long post. People have a lot of strong feelings about home birth and I think the majority of the American population does not support it, especially obstetricians. Nonetheless, I have done my research. I have been in the natural/home birth community for a while now. I can say that it is truly a beautiful and safe practice, and women who do it will tell you that they’ll never walk into a hospital for a birth if they can help it.


What I’ve been hearing from a lot of people recently, upon discovering that we are planning a home birth, is how “brave” I must be for doing this. I don’t think of myself as brave at all. Rather, I would consider myself brave for going into a hospital. I used to think all babies were born in a hospital and for those women who didn’t have hospitals.. well, they managed somehow but I had no clue. I actually remember thinking that before hospitals, babies had to survive otherwise we would not have a world full of people today. The truth is, most women don’t need hospitals in the world. The female body was made to birth babies, along with processing all the complex hormonal changes that occur when a woman is in labor.


You might read a statistic that says 1 in 4 babies are born via c-section. The most recent statistic, however, is that 1 in 3 babies are born via c-section. 33% of babies. Among the 4 women I know besides myself who are pregnant, the chances are that at least one of us will deliver by c-section. I am definitely terrified of having a c-section. It is major surgery, and although doctors do it all the time, it is not without major consequences. One of my reasons for wanting a home birth is so that I am able to labor in the water, move around, and receive constant support and medical expertise from my midwife, who will be there by my side 100% of the time. This reduces the need for intervention and decreases the chance that I will need a transfer or emergency c-section. If I do have to have a c-section, I’ll probably cry, but I’ll get over it. What’s important is the safety of me and my little girl.


The medical community can easily scare us into thinking that birth is so dangerous. There are so many “what ifs” that you can be easily overwhelmed into thinking that a hospital is the only safe place to have a baby. Well, statistically for healthy mothers and babies, that is plain wrong. If you choose to have your baby in a birth center or at home you are a bad mother and risking your baby’s life, according to some people. Plain and simple, most hospital staff like to control your labor and birth. They like to put you on a clock and get you out, so the next mom can get in. The more babies delivered in one day means more money and more surgeries. Hospitals make more money off c-sections than any other procedure. And due to the fact that families will quickly sue a doctor if there is a bad outcome, too many doctors now believe that the safest way to take care of any problem is to cut the baby out of the mother’s womb. They can’t get sued if they “did everything they could.” What is REALLY in question here is whether or not they did the right things to begin with. Did they start pain medications too early and it stressed the baby out? Did they not allow the mother to move around, so she experienced extreme pain while having to just lay in bed? Gravity makes babies come out. Did they prevent the woman from feeling like she was the one who could make decisions, or did they guilt her into taking medications that would make for a faster labor, not a necessarily safer one? Did they break her water too early and now she is at a high risk of infection? There are so many possible outcomes when you go into the hospital, and I’m trying to avoid unnecessary intervention more than anything.


Yes, you can have a natural, non-intervention birth in the hospital, it is just very difficult unless you have spoken with your doctor at great length. Seeing a midwife in the hospital, which Dave and I already considered, is also a great option. A free-standing birth center detached from a hospital might be a great place for you to have a calm and relaxing birth, as well. It has all the comforts of home with medical technology available, although they have all the supplies that a midwife would bring to a home birth, as well. A birth center might be a better option if your home is far away from a hospital, since many birth centers are a short distance from a hospital.


Yes, there are emergencies. True high risk women should be in a hospital. Sometimes there is a problem and the best thing to do is a c-section. Not all nurses and obstetricians are bad. Something that is so alarming to me is how the higher the cesarean rate goes, the higher the infant mortality goes. That means that the more c-sections we perform, the more babies die between birth and one year. Granted c-sections do not cause infant death directly, there are many problems associated with c-sections that can contribute to poorer infant health, like longer times in the NICU therefore less contact with mom, and lower rate of breastfeeding success due to the difficulty and pain in recovering from a c-section.


I am happy to be giving birth at home. I will be around supportive people, I will have almost complete attention from my midwife who is not only a nurse, but has received special training in birth. She has been doing home birth for over 20 years and has seen just about every scenario. I trust her completely and I know that if there is a problem, she will be able to assess it ahead of time and decide how to proceed. Something that is important to remember is that just because I’m at home does not mean that if there is an emergency I won’t go to the hospital. The hospital is less than 10 minutes away and my midwife or I will decide if I need to transfer.


Midwives don’t show up to a birth with a towel and scissors. My midwife is a Certified Nurse Midwife. She brings with her many of the tools they would use in a hospital, besides an operating room. She has oxygen for me or the baby if we need it. She has IV fluids in case I get dehydrated. She has tools to cut the umbilical cord and knows how to properly stitch tears. She knows how to perform CPR on an infant. She knows how to diagnose hemorrhaging and can give me pitocin to stop it entirely or until an ambulance arrives. Basically, she knows what she’s doing and is prepared for emergencies. The emergencies that could arise without us knowing are real, but occur rarely in healthy women and babies. She has been a midwife for so long that she can catch on early to problems that need attention or would require a transfer to a hospital. She is not just there to catch a baby. A huge part of her life has been dedicated to the safe passage of babies into the world and she would not be doing midwifery today if she wasn’t good at it.


I have an idea of what I’d like my birth to be like. I’m at home. I call my midwife and she comes over. I try to rest in whatever position feels best for me. The midwife checks my blood pressure every half hour or so, maybe takes my temperature, and uses the doppler to check the baby’s heart beat. I am then free to lay down on my own bed, kneel on my own couch, and take a shower or bath without having to detach 4 cords and try to keep my IV site from getting wet like I would in a hospital. My midwife is there the entire time so when I are scared or in pain I can talk to her and she will comfort me, along with Dave and the other women at my birth. I can listen to my own music, adjust the temperature in the room, drink water or juice, eat food. I can wear my own clothes. I can get into the birth tub when my pain is intense and I need the relief. When I am ready to push the baby out, no one is grabbing my legs and counting to 10, making me hold my breath and strain my body. I am in less pain because I’m not on my back, which is the worst position to give birth in. Being on your back requires pushing the baby sort of uphill, whereas being upright greatly assists the baby in moving down and coming out easier. I am weightless in the water and I feel more relaxed. The water helps loosen my birth canal to make an easier path for the baby. When the baby is born I get to bring her immediately to my chest and hold her in a towel, while allowing the placenta to continue delivering oxygen as she is transitioning to the outside world. After cleaning her up and somewhat getting over the shock of having my first baby, we can do what feels natural and relax.


Birth is normal. Women have been doing it since the beginning of human existence. Having your baby at home is not something that is horrible and dangerous, as long as you and your health provider determine that you are at a low risk of complications and someone is there to assist if there is a problem. If we always focus on what can go wrong, women will lose more trust than they have already lost in their body’s ability to birth a baby. I trust my body and my mind to go through this experience. I know just believing in my body and birth won’t magically make my birth happen without any problems, but I at least know that our baby girl is in perfect health so far, and to bring her gently and safely into this would is to birth her at home.


Here are various links to give you more info:


http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/homebirth.html
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/homebirthissues.asp (cites specific research studies)
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/technologyinbirth.asp
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/whyhomebirth.asp
http://www.changesurfer.com/Hlth/homebirth.html (a huge list of journal article abstracts listing the method and results)


~Christine