EC and potty training

A friend asked me a long time ago to write about EC - which stand for elimination communication. Simply put, you learn to read your baby's cues for peeing and pooping, while guiding them by making your own cues to help them eliminate on a potty or anyplace else one might eliminate. This sounds really ridiculous to the average American, but this practice is alive and well in many other civilized countries around the world.

Photo from www.diaperfreebaby.org

I have wanted to teach Evelyn EC but I am being selfish. I am in love with my cloth diapers and I feel so intimidated by the whole process of what many EC'ers call infant potty learning. I will admit that I can be on the defensive about cloth diapering; after all, most babies in America wear Pampers, Huggies or Luvs. I'm not particularly against disposables since we use them from time to time, but I am against dumping millions of non-biodegradable diapers into our landfills daily. It takes approximately 150-300 YEARS for one regular diaper to break down.

We use cloth for so many reasons, not just because we're trying to fit the mold of the hippie, natural parents.

Anyway, back to EC - sorry I get derailed easily! Besides the fact that I already thought there would be challenges, both physically and socially to using cloth diapers, I feel that it is an unsurmountable task to be ok with everyone thinking I'm completely psycho for trying EC out. Do you know what I mean? If it isn't enough that we're not going with the grain and "just using disposables", having to take our infant to the potty several times in a variety of social situations probably wouldn't fly with over half, if not most of our friends and family. Not that our friends and family don't love and support us, but some things are just WAY out of people's comfort zones.

So WHY on EARTH would we want to use EC with Evelyn?

First, it creates a positive and relaxed association with going potty. Many children struggle with potty training and parents can quickly get into a power war with their kids over it.

Second, it creates a strong connection between your ability to read your baby's cues and your baby's knowledge that you can respond to their needs. This kind of goes along the lines of attachment parenting, where your baby needs to know that you'll try to respond to their needs in a timely, loving way (which is normal for the first two years of life - all needs are needs, there is no such thing as a baby who is trying to get back at you for something or is trying to irritate you intentionally).

Third, it helps the child learn from an early age that using the potty is not gross or shameful, and we don't have to essentially "hide" or be shameful of normal bodily functioning. I read recently that researchers are starting to understand much much more about our obsession with sexuality and it being shameful, tracing all the way back to infancy. Please don't read this as "if you wore diapers you are probably a sexual deviant". It just means that science is proving once again that the way we are cared for in very early childhood and infancy definitely shapes who we become as adults. Parenting is important!

Photo from http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com

Fourth, less diapers to throw away, wash, and spend $$ on. If your baby is cuing to potty 80% of the time, that's a whole lot of money saved now, plus energy spent on the dreaded potty training phase.

Babies who EC usually have multiple potties around the house and during nap times they sleep on a waterproof pad with a cloth prefold diaper or a fleece blanket on top. Fleece wicks away moisture and fluids, while cotton and the like absorbs. It works out well - we've done it a few times with Evelyn during very hot nights.

How EC is done: Mothers and parents will read baby's cue to pee, like fidgeting or stiffening legs, then the parent will respond by cuing the baby with a "psss" sound, for example. When first beginning you sort of have to catch the baby peeing a few times to cue them with the sound to make the initial association. You might take them straight to the potty after waking up in the morning or after a nap. Do this enough times and you will be able to mostly know when baby needs to eliminate, and baby will wait for your cue to release. Easy-peasy, right? Well, maybe not totally easy. Like all things, EC can take some getting used to for both parties.

Some families feed their babies over a potty, since the act of drinking or consuming usually signals the body to eliminate. Most babies pee during or after a feed, some will poop during a certain time of the day, too, which makes clean up very easy.

Babies who use EC often go without diapers or underwear, since the point is to communicate with them about going potty. Some families take their babies outside to pee, or will hold their babies in a squat position over the grass or a bush to pee. I'm not too sure how I would feel about holding Evelyn up to a bush in the mall so that she could pee. In many other countries and societies around the world, that is the norm. I suppose if you're out for a walk and your baby signals, you can do it sort of discreetly?Not that you must, but this is just my own train of thought. This is different than throwing trash in someone's yard - urine is a completely natural and useful substance for plant life. We're just not ok as a culture witnessing public elimination. You're probably thinking that only drunk, homeless people do this.

Photo from www.thepottyshop.com.au

So there's a huge hurdle for most parents, even cloth diapering and natural families, to try EC because of the societal pressures and stigma associated with it. I get weird looks from people if they see one of Evelyn's beautiful cloth diapers. As if scrape poop off the diapers with my bear hands, throw it in the washing machine, then dump my regular clothes in (no pun intended).

As with many unconventional parenting ways, it's the lack of knowledge about EC that creates such a fuss. I would really like to give it a go and maybe EC part-time. Now's the time to do it and I can't wait much longer or Evelyn will be very set in her (pee-in-the-diaper) ways.